HOW TO GET MARRIED FASHIONABLY.

Observer, Volume II, Issue 40, 18 June 1881, Page 438

HOW TO GET MARRIED FASHIONABLY.

I HAVE never met, and never expect to meet, either in Auckland or elsewhere, the woman who can hear of a wedding quite unmoved. It is a rite that interests the whole sex, young and old, pretty and plain, rich and poor, city and suburban, gentle and simple. No matter how many Aveddings they may have seen, girls never tire of them, but will go to one after the other with unflagging interest and attention, as absorbed during the ceremony as though it were an utter novelty. The bride is, of course, the centre of attraction. Even those who know her quite intimately stare at her as though

hey had never seen her before, devouring each detail of her dress with eager glances. As a rule, the bride who feels least, look best. Emotion of the intense kind has not often a becoming effect, and in this age of "nerves," agitation is apt to produce pallor, a tendency to tears, or an unbecoming flush. Tears seldom beautify. Poets and painters glorify beauty in tears, but that is theory. In practice, their first effect is to redden the eyes ; their second to encarnadine the nose ; their third to develop a tendency towards sniffs. Some, years ago, all brides wept. It was the correct thing. We had not quite emerged from the sentimental era. Mrs. Hemans' poetry was much read, and Aye all know how her brides behaved, weeping on their father's shoulder and their mother's bosom, and reciting regretful parting verses, so that one wondered that the bridegroom Y/as not offended by so much grief, and did not jump into the "chariot" and leave her there. We are more practical nowadays, especially in the colonies. The bride always smiles when she leaves the vestry, and occasionally is 'seen to do so as she conies up the church. This last may be " coming in" at home, but is rather a venturesome thing to do out here just yet. She ought, strictly speaking, to hang her head down a bit, not so much as brides did twenty years ago, but still quite perceptibly. There is no earthly reason why brides, as a rule, should hang their heads, but fashion decrees that they shall. They are going to marry the man of their choice. They are probably leaning on the arm of a father of whom they are justly proud. Why should they hang their heads ? Perhaps fashion provides the custom in order to meet the case of the brides who really ought to hang their heads ; those who are selling themselves

for money, for an establishment, for landed estates— even for a home. However this may be, ten years hence the drooping head Avill have quite gone out. The bridegroom tries to comfort himself, if he be nervous, by thinking that nobody will notice him much. "Everybody stares at the bride and bridesmaids," lie thinks. Little he wots of the clear eyes that take in every point of his appearance, every gesture, every look. Critically is he watched through the performance—a mosl trying one, no doubt. Feminine ears listen intently for his ' ' I will, " for a woman never quite makes up her mind about a man until she has heard his voice. If he says it firmly, in an even, full, deep voice, he is approved of. But how often, oh ! how often, does he growl it, or emit the important words in a frightened squeak, or with the interval of nearly an octave between the tone of the first and that of the second syllable? Agitation makes his voice play him false, and no one is more astonished than he is himself at the extraordinary sounds he has uttered. The bridesmaids are generally brimming over with a pleasant excitement, especially if they think their dresses becoming. From the demeanour of the chief bridesmaid, one would imagine that the whole responsibility of the proceedings rested upon her, from the license to the ring, and from the breakfast to the carriages. Arrived at church, she orders everyone about, sends servants fussing about favours, and too often laughs and chatters as though a church were no more a consecrated building than her own boudoir. She looks on the occasion as a dress rehearsal, in which she not only plays her present role of

bridesmaid, but understudies the chief part' In France weddings are conducted on a far more sensible system than in the Colonies. Here, the bridegroom sees the bride on the wedding-day for the .first time when she enters the chinch. There, the bridegroom calls for the bride and her friends and takes them to the church, just as he does on the occasion of the civil ceremony at the viairie. The bride takes the place of honour in the first carriage, her mother sitting on her left. Her father and the chief witness sit opposite them. The bridegroom's mother takes the right hand place iv the second carriage, the bridegroom sitting on her left. His fattier and the chief witness for his side of the contract sit opposite. The bride's father leads her to the altai, the bridegroom following with his mother on his arm. Then comes the bride's mother, leaning on the arm of the bridegroom's father, followed by four couples, consisting of the bridegroom's two witnesses, each with a lady of the bride's family; and the bride's two witnesses,' with two ladies of the bridegroom's family. When they arrive at the altar, a fresh grouping talces place, the bride's family and witnesses seating themselves on her left, and those of the bridegroom on her right. Before uttering the, "oiii" which takes the place of our "I will," both bridegroom and bride turn towards their relatives as if to ask their consent. A collection is made during the service, a young sister of the bride carrying the plate, accompanied by a younger brother of the bridegroom. It will be seen that a respectable muster of relatives is necessary on sucli occasions, and ma mere receives that large share of honour which is so universally her due iv France. Truth.