NOTA BILIA

Observer, Volume 2, Issue 29, 2 April 1881, Page 306

NOTA BILIA

— Youth, mumps ; middle life, bumps ; old age, dumps. — Mr. C. Westpfahl, of Queen-street, has commenced selling off his large stock of boots and shoes at greatly reduced prices. — J. K. Smith, the late genial host of the Occidental, has become proprietor of the Waverley Hotel in Queen-street. — The annual meeting of the Auckland Agricultural and Pastoral Association will take place on Friday next, the Bth instant. — The spirits called up from the vasty deep by Madame Lotti Wilmot are not to be compared to the spirits drawn up by Harry Richmond, at the Nevada. — The woman caught in a shower "with her new bonnet on and no umbrella, can never be persuaded that the rain was needed. — Ladies can now select their gloves from the largest stock in Auckland at Mr. Eyre's Glove Depot, Victoria-street. — Ladies of Newton Avill find a ehoiceselection of Drapery at A. O. Stephenson's establishment in Karangahapo-road. — -The practice of duelling, so common in France, cannot be too severely condemned. One of the participants in a recent affair caught such a cold that his life is despaired of. — I>y a notice in this issue it will be seen Mr. Hitchens, of blood restoring fame, disclaims any connection with anyone attempting to trade on his renowned medicine. — Mr. Moody told a San Francisco audience that if Nicodemiis were now living he would be known as the Rev. Dr. Nicodemus, and have doctor of divinity or L.L.D. tacked on to his name. — At the great Exhibition of 1851 one of the principal exhibits were the Queen of Spain's jewels, which attracted thousands daily. Now you can get jewels quite as <;ood to all intents and purposes, at Singleton's Jewellery Establishment, in Victoria-street. — Nautical. — Husband (jokingly) : "Oh, I'm the mainstay of the family." Wife: '"Yes, and the jibboom and the— and the — " Small boy (from experience): "And the spanker too, mamma." [Applause.] — "You are now one," said the minister to the happy pair lie had just tied together with a knot that they could never undo. " Which one ?" asked the bride. '"You will have to settle that for yourselves," said the clergyman. - Said the angry judge to the lawyer .- " The prisoner would steal horses, and I consider you no better !" And the lawyer said he flattered himself that he did know better, and wished he could return the compliment with justice. And this was one of the most enjoj'able incidents of the trial— for the audience. ' ' Truth from his lips prevailed with double sway, and fools, who came to scoff, remained to pray." Qnite right. It is quite true you can get the best cut yellowbird at Partridge and Woollam's, and those who scoffed at the idea now pray that they will always be able to get such tobacco. — "Satan finds some mischief still for idle hands to do." Then why be idle ? Go to Munro and Milligan's establishment on the Karangahape-road, purchase the material for a winter dress out of their large stock, take it home and make the garment yourself. — A good crust for meat pies can be made by taking one quart of flour sifted dry, with one and a half teaspoonfuls of Hudson's celebrated Baking Powder, three tnblespoonf uls of butter well mixed in, two and a half cupf .ds of sweet milk, a little salt; work quickly, and not make very stiff. — "The head of the Thames is a yard wide, the mouth six miles," stnd the teacher. " How can a thing's mouth be larger than its head ?" asked young B t and he thought he had the teacher. But he hadn't, for the pedagogue replied, " You go home and look at your father," and when B , senior, meets that schoolmaster, there'll be a fight up Poiisonby way. — Duck shooting commences this month, and any amount of sportsmen will catch their death through colds if their feet are not properly protected. Shooting boots made by Garrett Bros, from leather prepared at the Star Tannery will prevent all bad results from wet feet, and enable you to enjoy your sport undisturbed by thoughts of after consequences. — She was young and beautiful ; he was old and ugly. He took her hand and squeezed it tenderly, and then she put out her tongue at him. Then he laid his hand gently on her breast. She was eighteen, and he wds seventy ; but still it was an affection of the heart. O yes, it was. Her heart was affected, and he was a doctor trying to see how far the mischief had gone.