A NATIONAL DANCE.

Thames Star, Volume XVI, Issue 5050, 20 March 1885, Page 3

A NATIONAL DANCE.

w It appears that wo aro to have a national dance. The discovery that wo have none was made the other day in Philadelphia. Certain Philadclphians proposed to have a Kirmess—something that is said to be ex tremely wholesome and much superior as a tonic to any known variety of bitters. One of the features of the kirroness was to be a series of national dances, to be danced by young Pbiladelphians of assorted sexes and clad in various national costumes. When-it was proposed to add to these an American national dance it was discovered that no such thins: exists. In these circumsttnces it was found necessary to give up the idea of an American dance to be performed by a young lady in a starry petticoat and a young man in striped trousers. A feeble suggestion was made that an Indian dog dance should be palmed off as the genuine American article, and a leading young lady who had visited the Sandwich Islands and learned the hulahula Offered to dance it with an American flag in her hand, but neither suggestion was accepted. The Kirmess will go on—if a Kirmess does go on—without an American dance, but an eminent dancing«master has proposed to invent one and present it to the American nation.without delay. It will be interesting to know what the dancing-master's conception of an American national dance is. Among the bar- , barons nations a national dance is usually a war dance, but surely it cannot be sopposed that a war dance would be an appropriate American dance except during a Presidential campaign. Among civilised nations the national dance is usually a sort of pantomime, expressive of the varied operation* of the tender passion. NoAmerican national dance could be con* itructed on such a theme. Imagine the average American citizen expressing with Talmagian gyrations and wild Singings of legs and arms his deep devotion toward the property—real and personal—of the young lady whom he is supposed to adore! Such cbnductiis hardly thinkable, much less possible. And what American young lady could be fitly typified by a female dancer posing before ledgers and cash-books in the earnest effort to find ont if her loverV butiness is really in a prosperous condition. The new national American dance will have nothing to do with love or war, since these are not American occupations. It will be. distinctively a business dance, with perhaps a suggestion of politics. The male dancer will bo a plumber, and. will be decorated with lengths of pipe, faucets, bills, and other distinguishing symbols of bis trade. He will advance V toward a lovely young girl—typical of the American housekeeping element—and retreat again and again, thus showing how the real plumber goes back to his shop for bis tools. The girl will fly after him,, '- entreat him to return, and finally completely surrender herself to him, by giving him the key of her house, as authority for him to enter and tear, up all the pipes. Then, as the music changes to a minor ""-, icy, the plumber will present his bill, and tie girl will go mad. She will tear off her jewellery and throw it to him, in a vain attempt to appease bis rapacity, and find' ing that she cannot satisfy him she will expire in greai agony, and the plumber will bear her in his arms to a medical college and sell her remains, as his only way of collecting a small percentage of ' v a • Or, it might do to make the American national dance symbolic of that flourishing branch of business, the retail clothing trade. The male dancer would.l in such case dance around his vis-a-vis, urging her purchase a wonderfully cheap coat left * over from last season's stock, and for ■ale at one-third its original price. The coy maiden—who, of course, would be dressed in , ; the impossible boy's clothing affected by shapely variety artists—would decline his overtures and flee around the alage on the tips of her toes. Gradually his bursts of eloquence would overpower her. She would, consent to try on the coat, to compare its fit with that of the paper on the wall, and finally to pay for it. Thereupon the dealer and his cus-; tomer would fall into each other's arms and execute a wild pas de deux expressive of complete satisfaction and happiness. Such American dances as these would appeal to the, business instincts of the I community and would be recognised as distinctly American. It is all very well for Spaniards and Italians and such to make love the supreme interest of their lives, and to execute romances on the tips of their toes. In this country moneymaking is the chief object of life, and no dance will be entitled, to be called American in which this fact is not conspicuously prominent.—New York Times.