Savory Morsels.

Thames Star, Volume XVI, Issue 5030, 25 February 1885, Page 2

Savory Morsels.

A FRIEND AT. A PINCH.

"John," said a -homely old parish minister to his beadle as be was being assisted into his gown by that indispens- ' able functionary in the vestry one Sabbath morning just before entering the pulpit, " I don't know how lam to get -tbrongh • with the service this ' morning. I have, come away from (he manse and forgot my snuff box." 'f Gnidaake, -■-• sir, that's a peety,' 1 said John wiih deep sympathy in his voice; " lo£h, bide a minute till I see gin Icanna get acs crackle's pit ye owre till the afternoon," and John .: disappeared, returning in & few minutes with a curious compound in a piece of brown paper which he carried in his hand, i " Where did yoa get this ?" said the minis* ter, eyeing the paper suspiciously, yet snuffing up a huge, pinch with a sigh of intense satisfaction. " 00, I jist got it," said John, evading the question. "Bat who gave you it ? where did yoa get it, John ?" " Weel, sir," returned the beadle sturdily. "Ijist scrapit it up aff the flair' o' the pulpit," and he marched into the church with the Bible, thus cutting abort any rebuke that might have been adminis. ■ t«red, and compelling the minister to i follow at his heels, as the custom was. - - r'

?• Tom, you teem to gain flesh every day—your business must agree with you • what did you weigh last ? •• Well, Simon' I really forget now; but it strikes me it was a pound of butter." / An amateur is discussing with a dealer .' the price of a set of old china. " But" " sayt he, "its too dear. There isn't V piece, that, hasn't been -broken and ; mended." " Why, sir," says the dealer. "that is what makes its value!" Then ' slowly and impressively: "That'it !th«v s set Napoleon dashed to the floor when he was enraged at .the defection of Beraadotte." Amateur: "Dear me! Is that aoP Are you certain of,itP'? Dealer- ", " Positive—perfectly sure !" Briskly "But, if you prefer it intact, I have tSi lame set unbroken!"