A Racy View of the "Management" of Wornon.

Thames Star, Volume XVI, Issue 5015, 7 February 1885, Page 1

A Racy View of the "Management" of Wornon.

When I hear a man say he knows how to manage & woman I set him down at once as a self-satisfied victim of delusion. It was the same kind of a man who gloried in a mutilated thumb which he had thrust into the other fellow's mouth merely to let him know that he could not be trifled with. Management of women is a flattering fiction, about as substantial as that tag end, of a bill in chancery: " And your orator will ever pray." Women are never man- . aged' for the reason that unmanageability is their normal condition. Black'is not white, and no sophistry can change the unanswerable truth, though white in the abßense of light, is, or seems to be, black. I In respect of women the wisest manage* ment is the absence of management. I am not to be tempted into raying that the ' same kind of diplomacy is essential to the management of piggy, though it ii a familiar freak of natural history that, if you wish to drive a pig on board a ship, for example, you must exert all' your powers to prod him in the opposite direction. I am disposed to think that the world is governed too much. So are in-- , dividuals. The more we are governed (or managed— it amounts to the same) in the ; sense that implies authority, the less tract- ; able do we become. The husband 'who I lajs down a rule of conduct for his wife, I and expects of her a meek and lowly I obedience, is either unsopbicated or enbr- . i mously self-conceited. In either case he is a laughing stock for the observant. While 1 seeming to be all that is manageable, his wife is really in the enjoyment of the largest liberty. In the vernacular she "has her own way" by cunningly con- ' triving in advance to make that way I her husband's way. Oh. yes, she ■ respects his authority. There is ho . doubt of that, but a spectacle for gods is '. the finesse—l had almost said the superhuman ingenuity—with which she makes that authority originally conform to her own particular notions. He is the presiding officer of the domestic senate, and' she wisely concedes to. him that empty distinction ; but somehow the record shows the unanimous adoption of all her motions. How she achieves this' is her secret, and the only reason why she- has never disclosed it is the comical fact that she does not know it herself. This is one of the unfathomable mysteries of the woman's nature; and I think that the man who bothers himself in the vain effort to sound' it should be categorised with the seekers after perpetual motion, 1 have made up my mind to be content with a kind of awesome respect for it, as for all the great' unknown and unknowable mysteries of being. Even if it where not a mystery I should be forced to respect and applaud it as the quintessence of tact, which I have always regarded as a priceless posses* sion—the special seal of nature's par* tiality. Learn, oh! man, that you cannot " manage" women, and that how much soever you pride yourself, with your eyes shut, that you have found the secret out, you have only to take one searching look into yourself to see there the woman's image enthroned in serene and royal state. Man has always been the subject, not the lord, of woman. The weapons with which she acquired empire are peculiarly her own. /We know their potency, and we cannot deny the skill with which she wields them. They cut deep, but the wounds soon heal, and we rush to battle again for the luxury of a gash inflicted with, such keen edges. Woman's wile is only a phase of woman's tact, but it always wins. Mere force is important against it; authority-it. turns upon itself; and loud command it parries with the ease and skill of the adroit fencer. How long did Anthony stand before this weapon of smart and sinuous Cleopatra? Did not the barbarian, huge of frame, cruel of soul, bloody of purpose, and defiant of man, become as a child, obedient to the caprice of a slender girl,, the Greek, : Parthenia p That, in one form or another, is universal history. The sirens have sung the same song always. Its melody ' varies, but the familar retrain.we hrar now is the.fame that ravished Boaz' ears When sung by demure Jluth, and which fill the

foul of Jacob for tvnud seven years. True, lie robbed his brother Esau, but he achieved the coy Rachel. I have no doubt that Bath found Naomi a rather jolly mother-in-law, and that her seeming utter self-surrendering had the effect on Boaz, who appears to have been as , cleverly managed as are the husbands of this 1 age. It is no uncommon thiag to hear it remarked :'" Ah, yes, there's Mrs Lustre; Her husband imagines that he has her in complete subjection, but I tell you that little woman manages him beautifully. While he straightens himself up ' and swells with, mannish pride, of pro* prietorship, she goes right on in her quiet, comical way, .doing as she likes, and he * ■ never suspects it. He wouldn't believe it if you were to tell it him." ' I dare say both Mr and Mrs Lustre are very happy. I know they have no clashings, and so far as outward appearances are a sign of happiness, their home is in many respects a model. I have sometimes been amused at the grand condescension with which he assents to her , wishes. He is a really good and generous fellow at heart, and it is a satisfaction to him to know that his wife regards him of - enough importance. to express her intentions in the form of deferential requests. It is a harmless kind of sauce with which she spices his daily fish of Datural vanity. - We all love, more or less, to feed on it, and when it is prepared by so careful and conscientious a caterer as I know Mrs , Lustre to bo I think I should relish it my* self. If I know men, there; s little hazarded in saying that where their relations to women are concerned, nothing else so stirs the amiable in them as a little judicious concession to their supposed superiority. The ugly man will receive from a woman a compliment on the point of personal comeliness, though he knows it to be untrue, when he would laugh at a man for saying the same thing to him. t Sensible men are aware that beauty is no part of their endowment, but compliment is honey on the lips of woman, and while the remembrance of it lingers to the taste the dear conceit will make them all Malvolios. The most practical of men, if put to his confession, would hardly deny this impeachment. If women with husbands were all discreet, they would know exactly when to dip their lips in honey. That woman who knows how to stir her husband's pride in himself may command him in all things ; but she,who is ignorant of that lesson in tact, or refrains from applying it, must take her chances with the crowd in many things wherein she might be chief. The crowd is eminently democratic in its measurements of men, and in it they must stand or fall according to their valour. At home the man plays ' aristocrat, and I see many good reasons why his wife should foster the fancy.' It is a pleasant thing to hear it said of a woman that she thinks her husband a very superior being. He is .pretty certain to know that he is not, but the fact that his wife thinks so,' has a tendency to stiffen his self-respect. That is a good domestic fruit tree, and I advise that it be kept well trimmed. Here and there a little graft of loving flattery would improve the flavour . of the fruit.