AT THE CORNER.

Thames Star, Volume XV, Issue 4922, 18 October 1884, Page 2

AT THE CORNER.

[by nemo.]

Homo sum, liumani mini a me alienum pido,

The long effusion of "Liberal " in thiis morning's 'Tiser was purely a laudation of the so called " Grand Old Man." It seems tohaveescapedthenotice oP'Liberal" that the taihoa policy of the present Imperial Government is in the end the most ex pensive. It is folly to start about doing a thing, half accomplish it, and then draw back for a time until pressure from with* out impels its resumption, and finish. This is what has been done, and is still doing in both Egypt and Africa.

A party of ladies passing along Queen street the other evening heard strange sounds of distress comiog from (he direc tion of the mud flat inside the railway embankment off Sealey street, and on looking about they discovered*three kittens, which had evidently been thrown out into the mud by some unfeeling person, and left to perish. This is a case for the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. The ladies referred to had the poor creatures put out of their misery in the most humane manner,

Many of my readers will perhaps like to hear how the " blood, fire and brimstone " quartette, who were here some months ago, are getting on. In an exchange of a late date, I notice the following in a letter from Norfolk Island : — " The great agony of the moment is the American Evangelists (Messrs Phelps and Dorman and their wives), and their emotional services, which have much influenced the minds of the susceptible islanders. A great many converts have bean made, and one poor girl has gone crazy." It seems the " holy four " are having a long stay in that out-of-the-way spot, and the unhealthy excitement attendant on their meetings is having a similar effect to what was experienced in Waikato —that of driving nervous people clean out of their wits. When will people learn, I wonder, that the religiou of the Founder of Christianity was one of love and gentleness, and not of fear, dread, and excitement, and stop this burlesque, revolting to all who have any true veneration in their composition.

Now is the tims for capitalists in Victoria and New South Wales to step in here and start a large prospecting and mining company; they should obtain permission to mine for any minerals, including lead and silver. Local enterprise seems almost dead—owing to tke want of that vital stream, money—and if the working miners cannot form small prospecting companies amongst themselves, outsiders must take up the work. I feel confident that prospecting, if carried out in a proper manner, would be found a profitable undertaking—this goldfield cannot be confined to the narrow limits already explored. XXX What a paradise ! All smiles, or at the extremity of disagreeableness, frowns and a flat-iron forwarded fondly. I read of a number of emigrants, ail deaf and dumb, having recently left East London for Quebec, there to found a silent colony. Nemo will await the decease of No. 1, and then proceed in search of this settlement. How be could read his paper, " cuss round," and do no harm all the time ; how be could stay out when he so listed, and have no breakfast lecture following ; how he could follow his own sweet will and only have " daggers" looked at him. The most serious drawback would be when the baby cried it wouldn't be heard, a sort of herald would have to be kept, and there would be no | chance of a "dance about" on the part of mama, and asseverations to the effect that " By gracious, what a child," " My life's misery," "Will I ever have peace," " Why were children invented," "No more for me," etc., etc. XX X If Auckland folk are "gritty " enough they will run Tawhiao as a norelty in the

way of a star performer on the organ (barrel), or as " he himself hath said it," as an instrumentalist in connection with the big drum of the Salvation Army. I am credibly informed that he agreed to join the Army, subject to one proviso, and that was that lie should have entire charge of the drum. He might also be asked to give a lecture on London and its novelties.

There is some talk of moving the Post-master-General to establish a Telephone Exchange Eft the Thames. I believe the matter has already been mentioned to the Chief Postmaster, and the many conveniences attached to the thing as regards business may act as an inducement in having the idea carried out. There is no doubt that it has its advantages, bat I* know that there are too many risks attached to having the arrangement attached to a private house. It is, to say the least, inconvenient to be " switched on " with your home while some little household trouble is on, and somewhat annoying to be appealed to to settle some family matter suddenly occurring. While ia the midst of the turmoil and strife of one's daily vocation, it might be irritating to be rung up by a feminine voice calling " Papa, will you come to this boy."

Some people are careful of their coin,^ at least that is a deduction one can draw, from the following advertisement which appeared in the Auckland Star —•'• Honest, industrious Young Man, with £150, wants to join in a paying business. A lady not objected to.— Address, " Business," Star Office." In the first place if the honest, industrious one wants a business, let him say ao, and if he wants a wife, he ought in all common decency spend another "Colonial Kobert " at least, if his intention is to advertise for one. It is very ungallant of him to run the business before the lady. But per~ hßps the H.I. young man is cute and wants the girls to know that he has £150, just to hurry them up; he could hardly say that a handsome colonist with £150 is in want of a wife, so that the notion of letting the two run together i.i perhaps a better way of putting it.

Of course spelling is as easy to most men as falling off a log, and so I found it, while in my rambles during the week. The subject was quite accidentally mooted in a shop iv Grahams town, and one present bewailed his 'bad lack at a spelling bee—an institution, by the way, which many others as well as myself regret the demise of. The man who had suffered said, " Well, I was slipped up on the word parricide." " Gracious me!" said listener No. 1, " fancy being licked on that." "Well, I'm stunned," remarked No. 2, "you couldn't do that easy word." "Thought you were good for more'n parricide," put in No. 3. " Fancy a man being let up on a simple thing like that," struck in No. 4. " Ha! ha! a man wot writes," echoed JSTo. 5. " Been to school ?" sarcastically put Wo. 6, and so it went on. The scathed one listened and chuckled; he allowed the boys to have their fun, and then he said quietly: " Well, perhaps I did. feel durnod well out of it at the time, but how do you think the word should be spelled. The most energetic orthogra* phist in the crowd went off—"p-ar«a-" "step down" said the man who had been roasted, " Next man"-—" pNar-r-a*'* broke in No. 2, " Not good enough," replied the one who had been sat upon; "pa ri" began tbo third; -''won't do," said the examiner. " Well, you fellows ought to know batter," chimed in another competitor, "the thing's as simple as pie; pa-r-r c—" " Quite enough," broke in the examiner and after going through the circle not'one of them could construct the word properly. " Well, boys," said the erstwhile ?ictim of their raillery, try and spell it for the future, thusly, " P-a r-r-i-c i-d-e." The way Nos. 1, 2, 3, 4, &c , filed out of the establishment where the contest took place, was worthy of the reputation of an instructor of funeral mutes."

A very desirable loss, as Sir Boyle Roche would say, has, according to an Australian paper, been experienced in Queensland :—" A squatter residing near Rockhampton, in Queensland, recently lost four daughters in one day—by marriage." lam inclined to the belief that tnauy fathers in other lands would frequently suffer, without a pang, similar bereavements.