Savory Morsels.

Thames Star, Volume XV, Issue 4907, 1 October 1884, Page 3

Savory Morsels.

The rule of three. —For the third person to clear out.

iEsthetie hairdresser (to an irritable customer who said he was in a hurry) —" I beg yonr pardon, sir, but I don't mind any trouble for a harmonious effect! I flatter myself there's no other artist in this city can so well arrange this drapery to imitate the JKoman toga .'"—Punch. Too Suggestive.—lt rather annoys the lady holding the pug-dog in her lap in an omnibus to hear a learned-looking gentleman remark to a friend: "Do you know the female orang-outang at the Zoo has formed an attachment for a small dog, and fondles it constantly ? " Wagg :" I say it's a weasel!" Grigg : " I say it's a stoat I" Wagg,: "My dear fellow, stoat's so weasily distinguished !" Grigg : " A weasel's stoatally different, my dear fellow !" [Proceeded unabashed on their tour.]

"You are accused of being a chronic thief. What excuse have you got ?" "None, excepting chronic poverty," re plied the prisoner. A short time ago, at a school, during a lesson on the animal kingdom, the teacher put the following question:—" Can any boy name me an animal of the order edentala— that is, a front toothless animal ? " A boy (whose face beamed with pleasure at the prospect of a good mark) replied, "I can." ."Well, wbafc is the animal?" asked the teacher. "Mygrandmother !" replied the boy, with great glee. " Are you not afraid of the snakes ? " a Hawkeye reporter asked Na!a Daraajante, the Hindoo snake-charmer with Forepaugh's circus. " Are'you not afraid the great anacondas may some time crush you in their powerful folds P"* And the tender hearted reporter shuddered as he thought of the pictures in the school geography of a snake lift long crushing a full grown elephant into a pulpy mass of bone-dust and mince-meat preparatory to ringing up the dinner act in the prodigal son drama. " Afraid of being squeezed to death ! " said Nala Damajante scornfully, *' la, no! I lived in Connecticut all my life, and our pastor—his wife wasn't congenial, you know, and he was one of these old bald headed boys who are always yearning for an affinity and all that sort of thing—oh my, he could just give a python points on squeezing." And she wrapped a twenty-tbree«foot python about her waist, and as the enormous snake caught on and shut up until its eyes stood out like sleeve buttons, and its tail was set as rigid as a poker with the immense strain, Nala Damajante half closed her eyes, leaned back, her head, and said dreamily— " Tighter, you dude ; brace up and take hold of .me, can't you?"— Burlington Hawkeye. "