THE LATE BAD BOY.

Thames Star, Volume XV, Issue 4905, 29 September 1884, Page 3

THE LATE BAD BOY.

"Bay, what is this I heat about your pa and the new minister quarrelling, and your pa ordering him out of the door, and his refusing to go, and hitting your pa in the ear ? " said the groceryman to the bad boy, as he showed up at the usual hour. " Well, itwas partly true, but it was all a joke," said the bad boy, as he looked out the door to see if his parent was in the vicinity. " You see, it was a new minister that came here to exchange works with our preacher. You know when they exchange works it is as good as a vacation, 'cause bdtfr ministers can preach an old sermon that has been laying around and got moth-eaten. The next day after the visiting preacher preached he came to our house to stay a day or two at ma's invitation; Pa hasn't been feeling very well lately, and ma said he wanted -some excitement, and I thought of an old story I read once about some students at a theological seminary making two professors believe that each other was deaf, and how they had talked loud to each other, and I thought if such a joke was all right in a college, where they turned out young preachers, it would do at our house, sol told ma she'd better tell pa to talk loud enough, or the preacher couldn't hear him. You see I didn't lie, but ma

.wejjt and told pa the minister was deaf as W post, and ho would hare to yell to make hlta bear. r J. don't think it was right for ma to say that, 'cause I didn't tell her the minister was deaf, but pa said he hadn't spoken at WBrd caucuses for nothing, and he would make the preacher bear or talk the top of bis head off. I brought the minister's satchel over from the house where he had been stopping, and he came alone with me, and I asked him how his Toice was, and he said it was all right, and I told him he would hare use for it if he talked with pa much. He asked me if pa was deaf, but I wouldn't lie, and all I said was if the minister would yell as loud as he did when be got excited in preaching pa would hear the most he said. O, he said, he guessed he wouldn't have any trouble in making pa hear. Well, I ushered him into the parlour, and they shook hands, and I skipped upstairs, just as pa swelled out his chest and took a long breath and shouted, " Glad to see you." Well, you'd a dide. It seemed as though his voice would knock the new minister's ear.cff, but the minister braced himself, inflated his lungs and then shouted, " The happiness is mutual, I assure you," and then they both coughed, 'cause I guess it strained their lungs some. Ma was leaning over the bannisters, and when pa would roar at the minister ma would laugh,-and when the minister would roar at pa I would laugh. Fa seemed to think the minister talked loud 'cause all deaf people talked loud, and the minister thought the same, and they was a-having it pretty loud, you bet They talked about religion, and politics, " and everything, and pa mopped his bald hesd" with bis handkerchief, and the mm»

; ister got red in the face ; and finally pa told tbe minister he needn't yell loud 'enough to loosen ' the shingles, as he wasn't deaf, and tbe minister said be wasn't deaf, and pa needn't yell like a maniac, and then pa said he was another, and the minister said pa was a worldly minded son of Belial, and then ma she see it' was time to stop it, and she went downstairs on a hop, skip, and jump, and told them both that tbere was a mistake, and that nobody was deaf, and then tbe minister said he understood from pa's little boy that his pa was hard of hearing, and pa Sf nt for me, hut I was scarce. Don't you tbink a boy shows good sense, sometimes, in not heing very plenty around when they yearn for him ? Sometimes I am numerous, and then again I am about as few aa any of the boys. Well, there was no barm done, but pa and the minister hare- their opinion of each other."