A Dog in a Portmanteau.

Thames Star, Volume XV, Issue 4892, 13 September 1884, Page 4

A Dog in a Portmanteau.

The carriage was comfortably filled when ihe Wairarapa train arrived at Featherston station, when a man evidently under the influence of something stronger than water, insisted upon thrusting himself and a large portmanteau amongst tbe passengers, who good-naturedly tried to make room for him. The new comer no sooner edged himself in than he began to make himself as disagreeable as possible; using some adjectives in the remarks he kept making. He was soon voted a nuisance, and no attention was paid to him until he began asking questions about a dog • which was comfortably^ reposing on the knee of a young man who sat opposite. " That dawg yours ?" he aaked. " Yes sir," replied the young man. " What breed do you call it?" "It is a bull terrier, sir," replied the young man. "A bull terrier ? Why it has'nt got a bit of breed in it, it's just a mongerel." " As you please, sir," replied the young man. " Say, young man did you get a ticket for your dawg, or are you carrying it on tbe cheap?" At this moment a low growl came from the portmanteau, which was followed by a snarl from tbe bull-terrier. " You had better keep your dog quiet, sir," said a youth who sat next to the offensive stranger. "My dawg P I aint got no dawg." Another growl from the portmanteau, followed by another snarl from the terrier. " Come, come ; you had better let your dog out," said the youth, "and let us have some fan. I'll back two to one the bullterrier kills your dog in less than five minutes." " I tell you again I aint got no dawg,'' yelled the stranger. A loud growl followered this, when the terrier leaped down and began to sniff and snarl around the portmanteau. " Lie still, you brute," said one of the passengers, giving the portmanteau a kick as he spoke. After the kick came a terrible howl, followed by a series of yelps, and more snarling and growling ; whilst the terrier was following suit in a state of great excitement. "Keep your dog quiet, or else let him out," said the youth; " this noise is deaf-

ening. The guard now made bis appearance as they were searing another station. "Hallo! what's the noise about?" he inquired. " Tickets please : all tickets ready. Your ticket, sir." This latter remark was made to the now throughly excited individual, the owner of tbe portmanteau, which now seemed to be alive with dogs. "What have you here ?" asked the gaard as the noise kept increasing. "How many dogs hate you got ?" "I've got no dawgs, you— —-——-flun» key." "Put him and his dog outside," said one of the passengers, as the train arrived at the Woodside statoin. "I must see the tickets §or dogs now," demanded the guard. " What dawgs? I've got no dawgs." •"■Well, you will have to come out of this," said the guard, as ha dragged the portmanteau, which was making more noise than ever, on tbe platform. . At this moment the station-master arrived, and wished to know what the dispute was about. "Why you see, sir, said the guard, " this gentleman has got his portmanteau full of dotKB." ■ . "Dawgs be hanged! there is nothing (here but by clothes." Several growls again came from tne portmanteau. " There, sir, can t you near tnem r queried the guard. ...,-. ... •• Most' certainly, replied the stationmaster, "opeß up your portmanteau,sir.' The maa was some time before he could find the key, but just managed to get it as the train w-as starting. The portmantaau was immediately opened, but no dog was there—nothing but clothes. But the train rattled away

with a laughing crowd in the carriage, amongst whom was Millis, the rentriloqust.—Exchange.