WOES OF AN INVENTOR'S WIFE.

Thames Star, Volume XV, Issue 4733, 8 March 1884, Page 4

WOES OF AN INVENTOR'S WIFE.

"It"is all rery well to talk about working, for the heathen," said one, as the ladies pat up their sewing, " but I'd like to have some oae to tell me what I am to do with my husband I" "What is the ' matter with him ?" asked a sympathetic old lady. " William is a good man," continued the first, waring her glasses in an argumentative way, ". but William will invent. He goes inventing around from morning till night, and I hare no peace or comfort. I didn't object when he invented a fire escape, but I did remon* strate when he wanted me to crawl out of the window one night last winter to see how it worked., Then he originated a lock for the •, door that wouldn't open from midnight until morning, so as to keep burglarß put. The first time he tried- it he caught hi? coat-tail in it, and

I had to walk round him with a pan of hot coals air night to keep Kirn from freezing." "Why didn't he take his coat 0ff?,'',..,"..1 wanted him to, but he stood round till the thing opened itself, trying to invent some way of unfastening it. That's William's trouble. • He will invent. A little while ago he] got up a cabinet bedstead that would shut and open without handling. It wen| by clock-work. William got into the J,bed and up it went. Bless your heart; he stayed in there from the Saturday afternoon until Sunday night, when it flew open and disclosed William with the plans and specifications of a patent wash bowl that would tip over when it got fulL The result was that I lost all my rings and abreast pin down the waste pipe. Then he got up a crutch for a man that could be used as an opera glass. Whenever the|man leaned on it up it went, and when he put it te his eye to find William, it flew out into a crutch ahdUl* most broke the top of his head off/ The other day I saw him going up the street with the model of a grain elevator stick* ing out of his hip-pocket, and he is fixing up an improved shot tower in our bedroom." ;