Savory Morsels.

Thames Star, Volume XV, Issue 4732, 7 March 1884, Page 2

Savory Morsels.

A Nebraska thief devotes his time entirely to the larceny of hogs, and with success. He goes forth by night armed with a long stick, to which a sponge is fastened, and a bottle of chloroform. Tb« porcine victim is lulled to rest by the an»3theclic and then born silently away. The other night one of the slumbering hogs rolled out of the thief's waggon. iA. kind hearted farmer came along the road and helped the thief to load up again anrd profuse thanks. When the farmer reached home he discovered that the pig was from his own sty ! .

A gentleman cannot remember an instance when a woman ever slept during Church Service. Let a man set himself to criticise every bonnet in the building and what time would Le have for sleep. " You haven't got such a thing as a pair of ould trousers, have you?" "No, my man," said the merchant;" I don't keep my wardrobe in my counting-house." "Where do you live " rejoined Pat, "and I'll call in the morning for the ould pair you've got on." A clergyman tells the following story: —"I once married a handsome young couple, and I took the bride by the hand at the close of the ceremony and gave her my warmest congratulations ; she tossed her pretty head, and, pointing to the bridegroom, replied, 'I think he is the one to be congratulated.' " Young Spoonbill— ?'Ah, my dearest Miss Shillinworth, if I may—l have long wished for this sweet opportunity, but, I hardly dare trust myself now to speak the deep emotion——but^ in short, I love you!—and— your—your smile would shed—would—-" Miss S.—" Oh, never mind the wood-shed! How's your aunt'i money invested ? and where are the feeurities deposited ?'WJ>uncb,