Savory Morsels.

Thames Star, Volume XV, Issue 4687, 15 January 1884, Page 3

Savory Morsels.

An Irishman who was found guilty of stealing a lot of coffee, was asked by the magistrate what he did with it. " Made tay with it," was the Hibernian's reply. A gentleman was complaining that some mischievous person had cut off his horse's tail. " Well," said his friend, " the horse is not injured." "No, not to me; but suppose I should wish to sell him." "Why, then, you must sell him wholesale." "Wholesale! why?" "Because you cannot rptail him." Travelling once in a steamer, the late Archbishop Yaughan bad as a fellow passenger a well known metallician. At dinner his Grace was voted to the head of the table. Laying his hand on a cover in front of him he smilingly remarked, "I think I know what's on this dish." " Fifty to one your Grace can't name it without looking under the cover." " You bet £50 to £11 cannot tell what is on this dish without looking under the cover?" " Yes," responded the one in whom the ruling passion was so strong. " Done," replied the prelate, and turning to an attendant he asked, " Steward, what is under the cover ? " " Roast beef." "So you see, sir, I can tell you what is under it." The "bookie" was " had," and everyone laughed at his expense, but he said he "didn't bet in that way." and blustered a good deal, but the joke was kept warm for him for many a day. A beggar has just died in Illinois who had amassed a fortune of 65,000 dollars although he had been born a cripple. At the close of the American Civil War he bought an old soldier's uniform, and represented himself as having been wounded in battle. In three years he had saved 65,000 dollars, and he was content to retire and live upon the interest.