Savory Morsels.

Thames Star, Volume XIV, Issue 4609, 12 October 1883, Page 2

Savory Morsels.

In New York so many hare joined the Moderation Society and pledged themselves not to drink before dinner, that the twelve o'clock dinner hour of our grand* fathers is again becoming popular. A country paper who speaks of a, man who "died without the aid of a doctor," says that "such instances of death are very rare." " What will be the best method of saving this small beer from depredation ?" said a gentleman to his butler. " Placing a cask of strong beer by the side of it," replied the butler. A. curious match for £25 a side is shortly to be decided in England. An advocate of malt and hops, in the person of a certain Wiltshire agriculturist, has backed himself to do better work in the harvest field than a retired Oxfordshire^ farmer, who believc3 beer to be all that Sir Wilfred Lawson declares it is, an 3 who is to work on water, reserving to himself the right of putting a little oatmealinto it. " Well, madam, says the head of the house, who has apparently got out of the bed on the wrong side, " what have you for breakfast this morning ? Soiled eggs, eh ? It seems to me that you never have anything but boiled eggs. Boiled eggs—• boiled Erebus ! And what else, 'madam, , may I ask?" " Mutton-chops, my dear/ answers the wife, timidly. "Muttonchops !" echoes the husband, bursting in-, to a peal of sardonic laughter. " Muttonchops ! I could have guessed it. By the living jingo, madam, if ever I eat another merl inside this house——" And jamming on his hat and slamming the door, the aggrieved man bounds down the steps and betokes himself to the restaurant. What'U you have, sir ?" asked the waiter politely, handing him the bill of fare. " Ah," snrs the guest, having glanced over it, "lefciaM*. see! Bring me two boiled eggs and|| > mutton-chopi" * *j "Do you think my daughter is a flirtil " v -tionist? * asked a lady of a gentleman at a' J) watering place. "I am sure I don't !' know, madam," was the answer. " I am not an observationist.