THE LIME-KILN CLUB.

Thames Star, Volume XIV, Issue 4606, 9 October 1883, Page 2

THE LIME-KILN CLUB.

"I has been axed several times o'late," remarked Brother Gardner, as he opened the meeting in his usual bland manner, " if we war " to hare any new mottoes or proverbs or maxims for do summer sezun. De Committee on Sayin's has handed in de follerin' bill o' fare far hot weather : 'He who sleeps by day will hunger by night." '..'"■ "Industry am de peg on which Plenty hangs her hat. 1' " Argyment makes three enemies to one friend." ■ " Men who go to law mus' expect to eat deir taters widont salt." • " De biggest ballobn kin be packed in a bar'l when de gas am oat." " De rattle of de empty waggon kin be heard furdcr dan de rumble of de loaded one." " I war' eountin up our maxims and proverbs las' night, an' I found de number to be 480. I reckon we will try io squeeze 'long on dat number fur de nex* few months' although if any member hits anything silverplated he kin hand it in at any time. Am Bear Admiral Bumbo in de hall dis eavnin ?" " Yes, sah," answered the brother as he stepped forth. 1 Brudder Bumbo,' continued the Presi« dent,' las' nite while I was buyin' some green onions at de market, I oberheard you engaged in a dispute wid Kernul Lucifer Smith. You stuck to it dat Noah had red ha'r an' se ndycomplexun, an' was a hump* backed man. But fur de arrival of an ossifer dar' would have bin a fout. Now, sah, did you eber see Noah?" "No, sah, I think not." "In what book did you read dad fie was a hump-backed man ?" " I—l dun forgot, sah." | " Whar' did you post up on his complexun ?" " I can't remember.*' " Now, Brudder Bumbo, I want to say a few words to you. De nex' time I h'ar of your disputin' a Biblical pint you will drap outer dis club like a cannon ball gwine frew a paper-bag. What Noah looked like—whar' he sailed-—how long he was afloat—an' how he enjoyed de voyage, am nuffin' to you in de slightest. Your bizness am to pay your rent, feed yer fam'ly, an keep fo' dogs arouu' to drive off burglars, an de less you mix up in outside matters de mo' fat you will have on yer ribs. Sot down, sah.' The humbled Rear Admiral proceeded to his bench, and dropped himself down with a i&v which broke both Senator Blossom's suspenders short off where the sheepskin joined the webbing. ,