Savory Morsels.

Thames Star, Volume XIV, Issue 4556, 11 August 1883, Page 1

Savory Morsels.

The lowa man who courted his wife 50 years before he married her was a prudent fellow. Fifty years takes the strength out of almost any arm, and makes it inconvenient for a woman to get down on her | knees to urge the head ,|>f the house to come from under the bed and talk the matter over. A little boy of three yetrs, whose mother played the organ in ohnreb, and who was obliged to be left to the care of others, was asked one Sunday morning ' what his kitten was crying so piteously for i " I don't know," said be, tfbut s'pect the old cat has gone to church." A philosopher says:—" In the economy of nature nothing is lost. The inside of an orange may refresh one man, while the outside of the same fruit may serve as a medium for breaking another man's leg." " It is very sad," said a Scotchman, " to think of the number of the world's greatest men.who have lately been called to their last account. And the fact is," added he,with unction, " I don't feel Very well mylf." A Baptist minister was asked how it was that he consented to the marriage of his daughter to a Presbyterian. " Well," he replied, "as far as I hare erer been able to. discover, Cupid never studied theology." One man was asked by another, with whom he was not on the best of terms, where be had taken up his abode. •• Oh," he replied, " I'm living by the canal! I should be delighted if you would drop in some evening." v A boy defined salt as the " stuff that makes potatoes taste bad when you don't put ifc on." He was twin brother to the boy who said that pins had saved a great number of lives by not being swallowed. Said a citizen to a lawyer the other day: —" Plantiff will swear that I hit him. I will swear I did not. Now, what can you make out of that, if we go to trial P " "A guinea a-piece," was the prompt reply. A Lord In Waiting.—William (sol.) : " Cut off the joint, three breads, and a glass of water; 'Times,' 'Telegraft,' 1 Standard,' ' Herening Globe' .' and a penny to the waiter ! Why don't you go to a free libary. A certain little Pharisee, who was praying for bis big brother, had a good deal of human nature in him, even if he was only six years old. He prayed, " O Lord, bless brother Bill, and make him as good a boy as'l ami" ' •' ': ■„; A sour old bachelor says that he always looks under the marriage bead for the news of the weak.