Savory Morsels.

Thames Star, Volume XIV, Issue 4532, 14 July 1883, Page 2

Savory Morsels.

A lawyer who was sometimti forgetful, having been engaged to plead the cause of an offender, began by sayinß, "I know the prisoner at the bar, and he bears the character of being a most consummate and impudent scoundrel." Here somebodr whispered to him that the prisoner was his client, when he immediately continued: But what great and good man ever Jired who was not calumniated by many of his contemporaries P" jwaw Anderson, the wizard, met with a Scotchman who stole a Birth w hi* ' after the.following pattern. Eater Seotebman 0 .:, I«y.«wy«ProfMsor^SWwjf.ijoiiM a smart «aao, and TW "UAl thml at a t««k. tooTyott lSiow* " Ah. indeed, and what trick, are y«i »„ to. sir?" Mked the prafaasor. 4mJSd »? the simple fellow, "^wl.l oaoiSw*. 10fh'?. d ******ifi ** • *old SSL S i»ti;arz^^^^^^ h^^h^sSin^^^ «S?-r^^^^ : its nothing else." " Hold on to H tifht

PrCßto! chug*." Now, open your hand. Sootty opened his fist, and there was a jroia>sorereign on his palm. " Weel, you did it, I declare; much obleeged to you I and the Soptehman: turned to ro out. " Stay," Raid <he professor, you may leave ne my taintagn" " T our 3 ! A warn.! that my drilling, and didn't you turn it into thi* 'ere yellow thing, eb? Good-bye! And ai he left the room he was beard to aay, •• I gnew there ain't anything soft about this child/ A Bemioo*l.—-A clergyman was roeeotly annov*d by people talking and pggling. , He ' paused, looked at the disturbers, and said, " I am always afraid to expose those who misbehave, for this reason: "some years since, as I was preaching, a young man who sat before me was constantly laughing, talking, and ' making uncouth grimaces. I paused and administered a severe rebuke. After tbe •lose of the' service a gentleman said to me 'iJir. yon have made, a great mistake That yoone morr wliom you have rei provedia^^Jtiiot.' Since then I have : always been afraid to reprove those who ' • misbehave tfc#oiseW»is in church, lest I * should repeat tbe mistake and reprove another idioi." During the rest of the .. aßgvipci at least there was good order. ViQppeleM.—Mfcfe: "This beer is tonight/ Tnvoterate: "Beas'ly P badP Wahtoher mean ? No beer's bad ; 1 aomWJs better nor others, but I never ; * tasted ***** wfofft" -..; L-V » i^, , Anstapid-loelrinK recruit KaltedT Tteißfc: , a blacksmith's shop, th« proprietor of ' wvieh was forging a shoe, and eyed the , performance with m»eb interest. The brawny smith, dissatisfied with the man s curiosity, held the red hot iron? suddenly , tinder hit note, hoping to make him beat \% batty retreat «If you give me half-a--arewn I'll iiek it," said the aoldier. The amithtook from bis pocket half a crown' and held iloat. Tbe cunning son of Mars took the eoJn, |ieked ( it» and walked a way. ' whistling, '(The Girl I left behind me." The: man'who can't spell a word more than one way, is said to be poorly edu- , eat«d. Tbf wild animal that trusts to! one bole to hide himself in in time of danger, iaKadly protected. The minister ' of Uievgogpel who depends entirely upon .bis oalling.fhashereafter no excuse, when be reeds tbe following advertisement from « Yarmontb (Nova Scotia) paper:— «'The jßev/Geo. W. Brown, having returned from his ecclesiastical duties stthe Conference, is now prepared to attend to \ the eases of persons troubled with corns, iX bunions, cr ingrowing nails, either at their A'inaV residence, or at his office, foot' of Church street." v*- i __—— •