THREE BETS.

Thames Star, Volume XIV, Issue 4478, 12 May 1883, Page 2

THREE BETS.

A tipsy fellow in a Yreka (Oai.) saloon walked up'to a big burly miner one night, and, without saying a word, pulled the miner's nose. The miner resented the insult by curling the little fellow up under a billiard'table by a blow from his sledgehammer fist. He came from under the table with a broad grin on his face, and his aquiline nose slightly out of plumb, remarking : " That was the first time I ever viewed a billiard table from that position." In about five minutes he walked up to the miner and pulled his nose a second time. The miner's arm shot out like lightning, and the nose puller was wafted over a card table against o red hot stove. When he regained his fdet, he winked with the eye that wasn't lutrt, and said : " That was a regular bungs,tarter." The third time he pulled the miner's nose, they had to throw water in his face to bring him to his senses, if he Uad any. Shortly after the little fellow's depar* ture, Colonel Stone came into the room, looking as solemn as though he had lost a wife or hot toddy. The Colonel parted his coat-tails deliberately before the stove, and asked whether there had been a fight there. He was informed of the fracas that had just occurred, and the mysterious actions of the fellow who insisted upon keeping other people's noses clean were soon made clear by the Colonel in this brief manner :-—

" Last Monday," said the Colonel, V a seedy little customer, claiming to belong on the Klamath. reservation, applied to me for a situation as hostler. All he wanted was his board, mind you, and he has been with me three days, and is 150dols. ahead of me. The first day one of the horses was taken lame, and he said he wanted some XXX horse liniment to put on the animal's limb. At the time I was standing at the stable door, and be was washing the buggy in the alley. I told him there was a bottle of liniment above the granary door. He said there wasn't a drop of liniment in the stable. I glanced around and saw the bottle that I had placed above the door just the day before he commenced work. It was half full, I told him »o. Then he com«

menced to set angry, and said he guessed he knew what was around the stable and wbat was not, he'd bet SOdols. there wasn't any horse liniment in the stable. Thinks I to myself, I'll take the conceit out of the smart Aleck, and I put 50dols iv sight, and he covered it. I got down the bottle. It ws empty. The d—d fool had painted the lower bajf of it black. He said that he always painted stable bottles that way, as he pocketed the coin. He had used all the liniment that morning. " Yesterday afternoon I went out to the stable and found the hostler looking intently at two pigeons on the roof. I asked him whether those pigeons had any particular fasoination for him. He said they hadn't, only he was wondering which would fly first. We gazed at them about a minute, when he said he would bet fifty dollars that the one on the north end of the barn would fly first. I took him up, knowing it was no horse medicine bet, as I stood as good a chance of winning as he did. The stakes were no sooner laid on the fence post than his pigeon flew. I left immediately for home madder than a wet hen, and just lOOdois out of pocket on the philanthropic hostler who worked for his board. ,

"I got to studying the matter over, and went back to the stable. The philanthropist was not to be seen about the premises. I climbed up in the haymow. One look at the hole in the roof, and a string dangling from the rafters with a\few pigeon feathers on it, satisfied mo that I had taken another dose of horse medicine. This evening, when I went to the barn, I found the new hostler looking very gloomy.. He looked as though his conscience waa troubling him, and I thought he would lighten his burden of remorse by giving me back the money which be had swindled me out of.

" I, • Zack, what's the matter ? ' " ' I feel as though something dreadful was going to happen to me, and it will be sure to strike before morning.' "I felt sorry for the fellow, and tried to cheer him up. "' It's no use, Colonel. I'll bet SOdols. that I get knocked down three times before morning, and perhaps something worse.'

" I says,' Put up your coin,' and as ho depositied two twenties and a ten in the hands of Bill Sykes, who happened to be passing by, he looked more cheerful. " I commenced to think the fellow bad a mania for betting and hardly knew what he was about. I knew he was a very peaceable fellow, having seen him take all manner of insults from the rounders when he first struck the town.

" Well, I guess you fellows know the rest. I just met Sykes a few minutes ago, and ho said that be had turned over the stakes to Zack on the strength of a disjointed neck, a black eye, and a two* inch cut on his forehead. To-morrow Zack will get his papers. I'm down on cheap labor, anyhow. Come up, boys, and take a small libation with me."