A WOMAN WITH A WHIM.

Thames Star, Volume XIV, Issue 4466, 28 April 1883, Page 2

A WOMAN WITH A WHIM.

In hunting up 'he battlefield of Joneiboro (says aa American writer), I came across the usual score of blind roads leading no one knew where, and in following one through, the woods I came to a point where a fence blocked further progress. On the other side of the fence was a farmer hoeing corn, and after the usual talk about the weather, I asked : " Say, Colonel, is this the end of this road? 1' "This is the end." "Don't go any fur* ther?" "Not a rod." "And I've got to ride back?" " I reckon so, but you'd better come orer to the house and hare a bite first," Won't it put you to any trouble ?" " Not a bit. Hide down into the scrub and you'll find a low spot where you cau jump the horse." When I had followed directions and reached hia sideline conj tinued : " Stranger, I want to,post you iv advance. When the Yankees came down here they ripped open our feather beds, broke open pur chests, smashed our crockery, and stole our chickens. rnever laid it up agin 'em,' but my wife can't forget it. When we reach the house , she'll take a squint at ye and ask if you ! are from the North. You'll say yes, and i then she'll ask if you was in the Yankee army. - You'll say yes, and then she'll ! open on you and call you all sorts of hard 1 names. You won't pretend to hear a word, and she'll heave chairs and bootjacks and flat-irons at ye, and yell at our four dogs to chaw ye up. That's a whim of hers, you see, but she can't hit ye if you are good at dodging, and the dogs does'nt bite any-, body." " But I don't want to be greeted that way." " You nerer mind. It's only a whim, and after she has tired herself out jawing and throwing and tearing around she'll set to and cook the best dinner in the Stale of Georgia. There was a chap here from Chicago only last week, and after he had dodged three chairs, a dozen sticks of wood and six milk-pans, the old woman pulled him off the host and made him feel so much at home that I reckon he may marry ray oldest gal this fall. I positively declined to take dinner with him, and I think I hear him calling yet as I galloped away: "Stranger, if you can't face one old woman with a whim now, I don't reckon you bothered our folks very much during the war,'-'

, A very nice story comes from New South Wales. An old gentleman belonging to the Catholic Church, who died a few weeks ago, left the whole of his property, rained at many thousand pounds, for the benefit of St. Mary's Cathedral. When matters were settled up; with Archbishop Vaughan, it was. pointed out to that gentleman that the' deceased bad left a relative in Sydney in quite- distressed circumstances. His Grace at once, it is said, made out a cheque for £2500 for the person referred to. '. The average age of different men is put down thus : Merchants, 55 ; physicians and lawyer*, 58 ;. farmers, 61; clergymen, 64$ and great geniuses, 75. It will be obserred from the above that the journalist's profession tends to longevity. ' Mistaken Identity .—A story is going about to the effect that down South a press reporter was taken for His Excellency the Governor, and loudly cheered by the.crowd. It was only when, on removing his bat to acknowledge the compliment, a piece of corned,beef dropped out, that they discovered their mistake. Then that reporter fled, pursued by the enraged multitude, and, dropped en route a, boot" sole and a coat skewer.

(For remainder of News see Fourth Page.)