Savory Morsels.

Thames Star, Volume XIV, Issue 4449, 9 April 1883, Page 2

Savory Morsels.

Not long ago a trooper was; bringingtwo biaeka down in the mail. It was a miserable day and tbe poor devils were - shivering audibly, Arriving at a pub., tome good natured traveller proposed reviving them with brandy. The trooper, who isn't half a bad fellow, interfered, saying, " If I see any of you give those niggers liquor I shall inform against you. - - I shall be back in ten minutes." A man who cannot undemtand that hint mast be as dense as a bale of wool.—Queensland paper. --, ■ , " Not Guilty."—Counsel for the defence had concluded a pathetic appeal to the jury. The prisoner at the.bar had, been accused of stealing an overcoat; The barrister had demonstrated beyond a doubt the inndcency of his olient, and claimed^an acquittal on all the counts of indictmeilt. On leaving the court the accused, now released from custody, approached his liberator, and inquired with candid simplicity, " Now it's all over, I suppose lean wear it?" It is only necessary to hear a few policemen swear to appreciate the levity with which oaths are taken, and to crossexamine a few policemen to know that the superficial levity has penetrated to the conscience and beyond it. Hair flew the other day in one of the railway carriages. A gentleman stooped down and caught hold of a lady's foot. Said she, " Sir H" " I beg your pardon," he replied; " I thought it was my portmanteau.", A story is told of a farmer who, having bought bis first barometer, was more pas. zled than instructed by its movements. When the sky was over-oast and the rain falling in torrents the index hand pointed to " set fair." Losing all patience, he took the instrument into the open air, and exclaimed, " Now, will you believe your own eyes ?" • A father complained bitterly of the way his children destroyed their clothe*. :.: He said:—" When I was a boy I had only one suit of clothes, and I had to take care of it. I was only allowed one pair of shoes in those days." There was a pause, and then the eldest boy spoke ap and said, " I say, dad, you have had an easier time now you are living with us."