AN EXPERT ON THE DRINK.

Thames Star, Volume XIV, Issue 4440, 29 March 1883, Page 2

AN EXPERT ON THE DRINK.

What is a drunk ? . - One of the simplest things in the world, to writ:

"Hare a drink, Tom?"

" Don't care if I do Dick."

Adjournment to the nearest establish* m?nt where proprietor deals in damp . merchandise. Tom, and Dick,' and possibly Harry, 'rapge themselves along in front of the counter, behind which the genial countenance and glistening diamond of the compounder of complicated Americanisms beam upon them. Dick's purchase is disposed of and placed " where the flies won't get it;" when Tom thinks it behoves him to keep his end up, and a repitilion of the concoctions is ordered. Here probably appears the only unexplainable point. If Dick had met Tom about lunch time, when their massive intellects were centered upon acceding to the demands of hunger, and Dick invited Tom in to, dine, it is scarcely probable that after the meal Tom would thiak it necessary to slap Dick on the back and ask him to have another dinner.' But even supposing the meal had been a little unsatisfactory, and such an event s{|fipld occur, it is certainly improbable that, after the bones of the second, partridge lay picked upon the board, Dick should decide they had better 'have another.' But in the case of the ' drink' this is not only likely, but the usual occurrence, - ~ and does not stop with the third .; repetition. It gets around to Tom again, and then to Dick and to Harry, and then to a newly found friend, for at - this stage of the game new friends seem to spring up at all corners of the bar. Fhelly-it comes to pass tbat Dick's and. Tom's and Harry's legs become in some way affected and it is with difficulty they suppor; their respective owners, and at iast give entirely out and deposit them in a complicated lump on the floor, This is the beginning of the end. If Tom or Dick were capable of getting their tongues about enough, they would even declare that they were enjoying a "glououi time." A. little later, after having been led to the door by the possessor of the same genial countenance and glistening diamond nd kindlyfacad toward.their homes, whose location is fixed by said individual at his own discretion, they are left to seek the portals as best they may. Still fii.a :n their own convictions that it would be impossible to pass a more glorious night, they congregate in the gutter to ta'k ov^r the pleasant proceedings of the evening. Eestrlt: One dollar and coifi, { This is a drunk, pure and simple.