CAN'T MAKE HIM HEAR.

Thames Star, Volume XIV, Issue 4436, 24 March 1883, Page 2

CAN'T MAKE HIM HEAR.

" I doan' know vbat I shall do mifc! : ' dot telephone of mine," observed a citizea as be entered the head-quarters of th» company yesterday, and sat down in ft discouraged way. ■ . » \ •' '* Out of order, is it ?" % "Sometimes it rhas, and sometimes it , ▼has all right. If Igo to speak mit der coal man, or der City Hall, or der butcher, it rhas all right, and I can hear efery word. If somepody rants to order my peer, I get their name shost as plain as daylight." " And when does it fail ?" "Vhell, shust like two hours ago. A.,.. saloon man he owes me eighdeen toilan, '-' ■' und I rings him oop and calls oud, 'Helle! hello! I likes dot monish to-day.* Den he rants to know who I am, and he says he can't catch de name. I den toll; bim oafer and oafer, and py an' py hi calls out dat he doan' deal in ratermeloDS und dat he goes io to pare Gratibt street, und dat he is sorry he can't sign mjt betition on der Council. Den I haf to. go all oafer again, und he dells me to stand back, und to come closer, and speak louder, und at last he gits ma^, ao d dells me dad if I call him a daD^y afia in he'll proke my hehdt. It's no use—l gan't ■ make ron of my cuß«-; oineP g near mo ; t jf somethings doan »Vi my delephone it may be ash my roico is gifin oud. I rish you rould examine me und see if I bad petter let my so!i Shori do der talkin" rhile I geep d«r pooks.—American paper.

' At an hotel recently a man and a woman of Milesian extraction took seats at the dipneMable. Directly afterwards a young couple seated themselves opposite, and the" * young man took a stalk of celery from the glass in the centre of the table and com> menced eating it. The Irishwoman op- f . posite looked at him a moment with an air \- of disgust, and then nudged her husband and said, in a stage whisper, " Pheim. dear, d'ye mind the blackguard eating the bokay?" A contemporary announces thajfc Mnv Ann E. Key has been summering in - Egypt; and will go to Ireland this winter. Preliminary Information.—ln the editor's room of one of the Dublin newspapers, there is a memento that is uniquein its way. It is a telegram, in a neat .-. frame, and was sent to the editor,- by &. . genius of a reporter a few week* ago in? \.! the following words:—" Please keep column open. Horrible outrage, 10 p.m.. this evening,"