MARK TWAIN'S BAROMETER.

Thames Star, Volume XIV, Issue 4432, 19 March 1883, Page 4

MARK TWAIN'S BAROMETER.

Somebody was asking a Hartford man How it happened that Mark Twain wrote and published so little nowadays. "He writes as much as ever," was the reply ; " but his barometer is out of order, and he does not know, what to publish, so he publishes nothing." What in the world has his .barometer to do do with his literary activity?" " His barometer is a man' servant named Jacob, who is remarkable for his deficient sense of humor. Mark never .can judge of the merit cf his own performances Years ago he fell into the habit of testing everything he ' wrote by observing its effect upon Jacob. - If Jacob listened, to the reading of the -" article, jest, or story with unmoved countenance, or merely smiled in a perfunctory "way,' :Mark was' satisfied, and sent the manuscript to the printer. But if Jacob laughed outright, or gave any Other indicationof genuine merriment the humourist concluded that that the stuff was hopeless, and withheld it from publication. He Regarded Jacob as infallible, - and came td lean upon his judgment. About three years ago, it appears, Jacob learned for the first time from some out. aider that his master was a professional humourist. He felt: greatly honoured that be should have been chosen habitually to enjoy the first freshness of every new production of genius. He did not exactly understand why he should have ' been thus chosen, but felt in a vague way ; that a great humourist must need sym- ! pathy and appreciation, and must naturally look for it to the fellow-being nearest at -'hand. He also felt that he bad perhaps failed to be at all times sufficiently appro* : ciative. So Jacob kept his discovery to himself, as far as his master was concerned, and resolved to be as appreciative in the future as anybody could desire. One day Mark called Jacob in and read him a sketch entitled " The Cow and the LightniDg-rod Man." In composing it Mark had flattered himself that he bad struck a pretty fine streak. To his , amazement Jacob put back his head and roared. With a half-suppressed ejaculation Mark dashed the manuscript into the i waste-basket. Then Mark waited six { weeks or a couple of months to collect hh forces (for he is never precipitate in anything he does, and achieved a romance called "Bowl Bounced the Baby." He :J summoned Jacob, and watched his face with obvious anxiety as he „ read the touching narrative. Jacob's mind' was painful to observe. Mark tore up the story and then tore his hair. Two or three experiments of this sort, with unvprying results, persuaded Mark Twain that the malaria, which he has been dreading ever since it began to creep up the Connecticut Valley, had reached him at last and, destroyed his powers of usefulness. He fell into a settled melancholy. His friend, the Revi Mr Twichell, tried in Tain to cheer him up. Perhaps," suggested' Twichell, "your man has really cultivated a sense of humor, so that you must no longer judge by opposites." Mark shook his head, and borrowed a volume of Jonathan Kdwards's sermons from his friend's library. .He copied out 1 ' a long passage from the discourse on, -eternal punishment, and palmed it off on Jacob as his own latest effort. For the first time in history, the gloomy periods provoked peals of laughter; Jacob held his sides and shook all over. Then he suddenly stopped, his countenance became blank, turned pale, and he incontinently fled. He had seen murder in bis master's eye. " That," said the Hartford man, in conclusion, "is why Mark Twain does ' not write. .He hung his reputation as a , humourist upon hia barometer, and his barometer no longer works."— Philadel- , .phia Press. •