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Thames Star, Volume XIV, Issue 4398, 7 February 1883, Page 4

Lord Napier, of Magdala, has been appointed a Field Marshall. Australia and New Zealand, can now export 700,000 tons a day, which is not much more than is wanted in England, without reducing even the present capital number of their sheep and cattle. Out on the Natnoi, New South Wales, the devotees smoke, in the local churches. The tobacco ia described as being bad by one who experienced its quality. The notion is a good one during a dreary sermon.

Wben a young man" who has been educated to adore the beautiful, to worship the good and the true, to trace bis soul with the'rainbow hues of the imauination, and wrap his spirit in the gossamer drapery of fancy—when a young man 'of this : description is mistaken For a Tom-cat, while crawling surreptitiously orer a back yard fence to keep a secret tryst with the idol of his heart, and an empty soda-water bottle, violently launched from a third, story window, catches him in the diaphragm, he does not howl and go on,like common clay, but lies just where he fell, amid the pansies and geraniums, and composes his epitaph. She had a wart on the end of her nose, false teeth, and a glass eye; her hair was red, ber face freckled, and she was pigeontoed and wore a number nine shoe. In spite of all this, he resigned the love of a beautiful maiden to marry her. And was he happy? He was. Why? Because he hjifbeen a newspaper man for fifteen yearvand the girl was rich. A meddlesome old woman was sneering at a young mother's awkwardness with her infant, and laid: "I declare a woman nerer ought to hare a baby unless she knowß how to hold if." " Nor a tongue, either,' 11 quietly responded the young mother. " '_„'. '\','!\ A bear broke into the house of a Nevada man thebther night. . fie was. away, and bis wife supposed it was he. coming home drunks She didafeftag ta light a^lamp,; but beg'an"opeHtTonß: "When the bear got aW he didn't atop running till be bad travelled eleven miles into the heart of the mountains, and .he was such a sight, that other, bears wouldn't associate with him. The first ease of black male—Ham;