Who would be Premier?

Thames Star, Volume XIII, Issue 4284, 23 September 1882, Page 5 (Supplement)

Who would be Premier?

" Now, if I was the Premier," began Mr Butter by the other morning, as he passed his cup over for a second cup of coffee, "if I was the Premier——" " Which you aren't you know," broke in Mrs B. in an argumental and confidential tone. " And not likely to be," added Mrs S.s mother, with a contemptuous toss of the head. "No," assented Mr 8., pleasantly; "but I was just supposing the case " " Then suppose something in reason," retorted Mrs B. snappishly. " You might as well suppose you was the man in the moon, or the Man in the Iron Mask, or " " So I might, my dear, so I might," assented Mr 8., still pleasantly smiling; "but that has nothing to do witb it. I was mereJy going to say that if I was Premier——" "My I " burst in Miss Gertrude, aged 18, " wouldn't it be splendid if you was, pa ? Just to think how those Wheedle top girls would change their tune when I meet them, instead of throwing out their insinuations about people who consider it Christian-like to turn their last season's dress silk, so that they may have more to give to charity! But they might turn ftreen with envy before I would ever —;—" " Yes, and wouldn't I warm it to Sammy Dugan, just," chirped in Master Thomas, aged 12, " I'd go up to him au' smack him on the nose with a brick 'fore he knowed where he was, an' he dussent hit me back then, 'cose it 'ud be treason, an' they'd hang him: and I'd side on the pavement an' shy snowballs at the p'leecemao, an' sass Miss Perule, an' play hockey every day when it didn't rain, an' I'd "

" Yes," chimed in Mrs 8., catching the infection from her enthusiastic progeny, " and then I'd be the first lady in the land, let the next be who she would; and members' wives would beg to be introduced to me, and I'd hare balls twice a week, and banquets every day, an' " " Yah ! " ejaculated Master Tom, " I guess the Premier's son would be the biggest plum in that dish ? Wouldn't I be the Prioce of Wales then—say ? What 'ud you know 'bout " " Shut up—all of you ! " commanded Mrs 8., "I reckon the Prime Minister's wife is the highest authority in the land ! Anyhow, there'd be a dusty old time if anybody questioned it, and I bet when the exercises were finished the survivors would not ask for any electoral commission to decide it over again ! My!. I'd like to see anybody—but, by the way, Mr Butterby, what was you going to say you would do if you was a Premier? " " [Resign as soon as the Lord would let me," said Mr Butterby, calmly but determinedly. And then a meditative silence fell upon the family and remained there until the meeting arose.