VARIETIES.

Thames Star, Volume XIII, Issue 4212, 1 July 1882, Page 1 (Supplement)

VARIETIES.

Eyes have they, yet see not —Needles. Ears have they, yet hear not—Old book leaves.

Mouths have they, yet speak not— Eivers.

Tongues have they, yet taste not— Buckles.

Hearts have yet pity not— Cabbages. •

Heads have they, yet think not —Pins. Arms have they, yet toil not —Chairs. Hands have they, yet steal not—Clocks. Legs have they, yet walk not—Tables. Teeth have they, yet chew not—Combs. Lips have they, yet kiss not —Pitchers.

Beer and trouble are frequently brewed together.

No mam can afford to put on airs unless he can raise the wind.

Jones siays that he used to be proficient in half at dozen languages, but since he was married he is not even master of his own tongue.

" May I ride behind you ? " asked a tramp of a gentleman who was passing him on horseback. " Yes, but not on the same horse," was the reply.

The great Junius said he never knew a rogue who was not unhappy. Of course not; it is the rogues who are not known who are ithe happy ones.

The editor wrote—" The showers last weefcY though copious, were not sufficient to meet the wants of the mill men," and the compositor set it up " milkmen."

At a young ladies' seminary recently during an examination in history, one of the pupils was interrogated thus—" Mary, did Martin Luther die a natural death ?" *' No," was the reply—" he was excommunicated by a bull."

Bridget (looking at the pictures orer the mantelpiece)—" What's them mann ? " Mrs Potonart: " Those are cherubs, Bridget." Bridget t " Cheerups, is it P Mary Ann says as how they was bats, and I says twins, barrin'the wings."