BUSINESS DEPRESSION.

Thames Star, Volume XII, Issue 3915, 16 July 1881, Page 4

BUSINESS DEPRESSION.

~(Fsox the San Fbancibco Post. •'The fact is," said old Johnny M'Finn, the city undertaker, to an attache of the Post, the other''day, Vvthefact is, there isn't any money in planting stiffs for the Corporation now-a-days; nothing like the good old times, I assure you. I've about made ,up -i ray .■ mmd to give up the contract/ ".What do youimean by the good old time*?," said the pencil-parer, sitting down on •four-bit coffin. " Why* the, good old .stock speculating days.*/ Those are the times when trade booms and everybody feels good. Why, eveft as late as the last Alta deal, last year, there was as many aB fifteen suicides a week, ,to say nothing of four speculators who dropped dead on Pine street the day of the break.", „j " lflonrjshiQg times, eh." . , "Well,'l should smile. Now-adays it is all. different. Since the sand-lotters have been squelched nearly all the paupers and.-tramps have gone away, and we don't fall,into a charity cadavar —Corporation plant, yov.know—once in a month. '.Now, with. only. $6 40 a-piec»!for- burying 'em from thefcity, and say fifteen do|hrj.^|iead from the Medical colleges there iMiinbcn sho# to>keep a wife and^ family ?h<>* W " You djbii't sell the bodies' to f th'e/iaW. boneiUoyVr • ;/...„ v... .V'^^T, " Well—anem—a man lias got to live «oms wiyVyou know. But the point is, that; the Business has all gone to blazes, ? anyhow] Of cgjirse I, ha?e the regular arrangements ;With the hospital, _ and *I must say they do all they can to; work up business, and— -»" ... ;■■;.;■■; ? ; '; = * "Don'tmean to say you actually try to-r*-"l ... -,-'y :'.m : , -r-r-v : "To i hurry up patients; I just do, thotfghJ Why not, I should like to know? A p'ersob can die but once; and what difference can it make to a.;pbor man in San 'Francisco whether he; dies now or in b feii, years> eh!?" r";; • /"'" "■',','■;;;:' ■.;.; - :';;, • " There may! be something in that," said "the journalist musingly, " but how— how do you manage'tb encourage them to—^'^f „■■■:s i „, ■ -■;■ '■;;.:■ ■ "Tb let go ? Why we just gif c them quiet little''hintsi is it were. I rush in a coffiA o#'efri,! set it up' right where they can fee fit, while the doctor he sits on the footpf the bed snapping his watch, and/ telling 'em about angels and the high price of fl^ur and things. Just coaxes 'em right, under tue daises, so to "speak." ""^oudon't sayP"; ?.*tf*-iz(i ,::■ c->z.'/. "Oh, that's npfhmjri"Mfej&ined the municipal mourner. "If a business man doesn't show ; a little .enterprise,and fsnap in this town, there isn't much show for him, you c«nSdepend"'dn' ij£.i” Now^' last Tuesdajifor instance, I was driving the dead Waggon up Market street, and just as we got to the corner of Third, a man on the sidewalk fell down ia an epileptic fit, and stiffened out as straight as a poker. The Crowd thought be was dead, abd as soon as I saw him, I jumped off, slammed him into the waggon, and drove up to the Pacific 'Medical College at a 2.40 clip. Ban *<)ver a small boy near Tyler street, but didn't have time to go back for .the body." lore's the pity. The dissecting class had ju^t mek when I got there. You see, I"d beetitrying to get them a subject for three days, without success. " Hello Mac," says the professor, " you're just in time. We Ikere afraid you were going to disappoiD^w:'" - '• actually——" "Obj but I did; though. I just rushed the body in j got my coin, and lit out." . " And they really.cut the poor man?" said the writer, with a shudder. " Well, no./ fljbelieve they only jabbed into him once or,, twice, when the corpse sat up^ apft* began to Swear like a pirate in the fourLd act! * 'He seemed annoyed, kinder, and nearly killed one of the faculty with his own knife, I understand. After that he got up and walked out, and is now suing ; the city for the loss of his big toe, or an«ar» or something. The sawbones' were jprfectly difgusted, and agreed to start in by cutting the cadavers' throats after this, so as to make sure. And do you know, they actually wanted me to refund the money paid nijp|, what do you think of that for n£rVtf ? ' I'd see'em But as the boy came running in to say that there was a runaway in the next street Mr M'Finn put on his hat and rushed out with an eye to business.