DICTATING AN ITEM.

Thames Star, Volume XII, Issue 3778, 5 February 1881, Page 1

DICTATING AN ITEM.

The following little sft>ry teaches caution in the use of pronouns!:— Mr Tucker came in the editorial room of a local paper, and sliding up to the reporter's table, he took a seat and nudged up close and said. 'Just take it down now, and I'll give you a good item. Ready ? ' 1 Yes.' Go ahead.' ' Well, this morning, ' Mrs Tucker—my wife, you know—and her daughter Bessie were driving out with the bay mare, named Kit.ty,/along the river road to see her aunt.' ' Whose aunt ?' . ' Mrs Tucker's aunfc. To see hei* aunt. Bessie vras driving the mare, and a little after they had passed Staploton Place she threw one of her shoes." " Bessie did P" ' No, Kitty, the mare. And Bessie said to her mother that she thought she was behaving rather queerly.' ' ' Mrs Tucker was ?' ' The mare,; and she felt so worried that that she had half a notion to turn back. £ ' Are you speaking of the ,mare or of Bessie?' , I mean Bessie of course. But sue kept on limping and going kinder uneven until they were down by the gas works, when she laid back her ears and—' Yoji don't* mean Bessie's ears ?' ' Certainly riot.' 'Go on then.' Mrs Tucker laid back her ears.' * The mare's ears. And just as they got on the bridge over the creek the mare gate a tilfc to ore side, and as Mrs Tucker , screamed, she let drive with both of her v bind legs • against the caniige.' 'Are you referring to Mrs Tucker, or to the—' ' Kitty, the inave—and snapped both shafts off short. The next moment, before Mrs Tucker or Bessie could sare themsclv s, she went over the side, turn* ing a complete sbmersaulfc.' ' You are now speaking of the mare ?'■ ' Yes, the mare turned aj complete somersault into the water. One of the traces remained unbroken,, and of course as Kitty went over she dragged the carriage after her* and Mrs Tucker and Bessie went floundering into the creek. The mare at.ouce struck but for the shore, and Bessie fortunately had presence of mind enough to grasp her by the tail. She had the blind-staggers, but it had passed off ' 'Not Bessie ?' 'No —the and as she was towed

past Mrs Tucker, she .caught hold of her dress—' ' The mprVs .dress ? " ' Bessie s dress; and it "geeltifed*- for a minute the —mare would "fifing them' safely to land." But Mr Tucker's hold on Jib* mare's tail "loosened"somehow, and—'''You said Beßsie hejd tctiho, mare's .tail:' « Did I ? Well, so it was i and -Mrs Tucker had hold of -her'dress.' sW«bose dress?' Didn't I say Bessie's dressr Well, then, somehow 'MesHKickerV. hold loosened and—' 'Her hold of what?' Her hold of the mare —no, I must be mistaken; Bessie had hold of the mare's tail, while ; tHe > mare was swimming, and the tnare u had hold of Mrs Tuckers dr—that is, Mrs s Tucker-had h'rild if—Well, anyhow she let go—' Mrs Tucker let go?' 'Oh, I v; dunno; whoever had hold of the mare let' go, and she went to the bottom like a ■tone.' If I follow your meaning it was the mare that went to the bottom like a stone.' My goodness, man! Can't you understand P It wasn't the mare. ,The ttare swam ashore.' ' What did you say that she went to the bottom for, then?' * I didn't; it was' Bessie.' ' Bessie never said a word about it.' 'You know what < I meant. Bessie went to the bottom. 1 'And Mrs Tucker swam ashore ? No she didn't.' 'Very well, then, Mrs Tucker ; i went to the bottom too ?' 'No, she didn't ? either.' ' Mrs Tucker flew up in the air then?' You .think you're smart, don't you P' 'Well go on and tell your storyj;: we'll discuss that afterward. What did Bessie say when she got to the bottom ?. 'I've a good mind to wollop you.' What did she say, that for?' Tou mud-headed idiot,' said Mr Tucker,' Give me any more of your insolence, and I'll flay you alive. I was going to give you a good item about that" mare, and what Mrs Tucker said about her turning somersaults all the wajr home, but now I'll see you hanged first.' The reporter got behind the desk, lifted <s up a chair to ward off a*missile, and he said calmly, 'What was Mrs Tucker's object in turning somersaults all the way home ?'