A BROKEN MAN.

Thames Star, Volume XII, Issue 3751, 5 January 1881, Page 3

A BROKEN MAN.

"Dis feller comes mit my saloon on Gratiot street and asks for peer," begau the witness, as Samuel Peters stood al the bar of justice. " Vhen he has one glass, he dells me to set 'em oop again. Vhen he has two glasses he says he vhas as dry as a prush fence. He drinks six glasses right off, and he says I must sbarge it to der sinking fund. I doan' know vhas such tings mean, and I lock der door und makes all ready for a fight mit him."

" And you had one ?" " Yhell, you can see how my nose is all bustedjQop> und some plack on my eye, und sooeh a badt feeling in my ears; I vhas novhere—yes I vhas—l vhas under der dable."

" Who. struck first ?" " Y*<?Si, I gifts him a shentle tap on der noso to xuake him see dot he must pay oop." " You locked the door on him- and tapped >rMm.cn the nose?" 11 Yaw." " Well, the prisoner is discharged, and you can go home." . " Vhas !. Doan' you send him oop for bix monthsP"

"Wo, sir." " Doan' he'pay me for dot peer ? " " I guess not.'.' "Doan' I get some protection of der law?" " Wot when you lock the door on a man and begin tickling his nose." " Yhell, I neffer see ! I might as well close oop my peesness and take poison. Pot prt&ks me all down like a shild, und I tells der old vhomans dot we more back to Chicago right off." .

A Georgia journal says that the watermelon is the most generous of vegetables because it has so much heart, and the onion is the most selfish because it always sheds other team than its own.