THE MIKADO OF INDIANA.

Thames Star, Volume XI, Issue 3529, 17 April 1880, Page 4

THE MIKADO OF INDIANA.

It was the hour of 4 o'clock in the afternoon. A young man of twenty-four Summers suddenly appeared at the Central Market and kicked a sedate looking citron sky hi&h with his right foot, and mashed three or four egg-plants with a whirl of his left. When asked to explain the fundamental principles of his platform, he played pitch and toss with several heads of cabbage, and crushed the juicy sweetness out of half a peck of the jnusky Bartlett pears. About this time several men and women rose to a point of order, and were recognised by the speaker, who ruled that there was no show for discussion, and peeled off his coat to prove it. This peeling brought a peeler, who put a stop to the destruction by putting a stop to the young man, who loudly declared that he was the Mikado of Indiana and away from home on a boom. " I suppose it was temporary insanity r queried his Honor, when the story had been told and the witness had fallen back.

"Either that or a fit," replied the prisoner. " I didn't mean to raise a fuss, but somehow the spirit came over me and I couldn't control himself. The sight of a citron always gives me a feeling of frenzy." " Citrons," aaid the court, as he looked up to see what day of the month it was, " do not contain that satisfying sweetness found in a water-melon." " That's true," sighed the prisoner. "But a citron, after it has passed through a certain process known to housewires, become a delicacy which ranks first in the affections of the preserveeating public." " I believe you—yes, I do." "Citrons, after they have been kicked into a pulpy state when raw, have lost all value, and no more good forever. Therefore—" " Therefore, I'm to be sent up ? " interrupted the prisoner. "Yes." " For about sixty days ? " "Just about." " Very well. I'm the biggest Hoosier in Indiany! I'm a regular Mikado on rollers! I'm a catamount with extra claws, and I won't stay in your old calaboose over fifteen minutes." " All of which goes to prove that sixty days is too short a time, and I'll make it ninety! "calmly replied his jHonor, and at ninety it stood.