Tim Doolan's Opinions.

Thames Star, Volume XI, Issue 3520, 7 April 1880, Page 2

Tim Doolan's Opinions.

Irish Town, Aprul the 3. Misther Eddither—Sur, — Faix I'm gratoly behoulden to ye far insartin' me lasht, an' shure small wondher, for me bizzeness in the konsultin' line is inkrasin' so much that I'm thinkin' o' takin' a offiss in the Byal Ixchange Bildins. I soult out o' me thribbei---yistherday to Jerry Moriarty, m«/ seccuud kuzzin be the mother's side, for tin bob, and a thrate. Tim, sez he, bad yer the the go-ahed bye, sez he (orer the licker), an' how did ye mannige ta git in wid the Ginthry in the way ye 'are. ISTa Boch'Lish a Vauchil, sez I, didn't ye see me purducshon in the Star t'other day, and shure whin a gorsoon has a talint fur the like, where's the use in hiden id ondther a busshel. Well, I got illiqnint after the succund class, an' Jerry, siz I, whin there'll annything in yer hed wants airen, an' yer loikly tv proffet be id, shtart the lever siz I—the Priss—the forth ishtate—the moity power that riggelates nashins, and keeps Kings in their places. Thou a mon Dhanl! Tfim, siz he, iz id takin' lave uv yer sivin sinses ye are, tv be romansin' in that fasshon. Well, me bye, siz I mind yer thribbet an' lave me the poethry and illoknshon. Well, sur, I musht tell ye onbenoensht, I hed a privet inthervue lasht week wad the Minusther ur Lands. Tim, sez he, I sent fur ye tv git yer privet opinion on the subjee uv this raleway. Da ye think, siz he, tiz wanted at all, at all, nx was it only a pollytikel job be the Gray Guvermiat tv hould the races. Iv coorse ye noe, siz he, our Guvermint nd like to kape sweet wud the Tames peepel, far they are very sore be rayzsoa mv uz kicken Sat George ont uv Krigtsuursh, bad be hook ur be crook we hed to git the innimy ont uv our sthronghould. Ye noe, siz he,' munney is skarse wud uz, and there's a lot uv frinds nearer home that's pestherin' us fur jobs. Dv ye think»giiz he, uv we sint urn a bach uv the oni&ployd 'twould shnte fur the pressint. siz I, we hey plinty uv that kommodity in sthock fur the prisint, an the faeher too; tho' we aint makin' sich a Ullagpne about id as yer frinds down Sooth, bud ta cam tv the railway. Iz id me konscienshus opinion ye're afther ? Tv be share, siz he, giv us the ginuin. Well, thin, siz I, the peepul is mad for it, and they are intermined tv hey id; far share 'tis the backbone uv the hole pininshelay, an' more nor that, siz I, iv ye wuz to harry it on .to wanst, 'tis tin tv wan bat we mite giv yez annuther thriel, tho' yer the hevvy decavers intirely. Faith, siz he, I'm thinkin' ye're rite, and whin 1 gits back tv Williutin I'll pat things in apple pie ordher fur yez, and sthart anntther sixion. Blissins' on yer hairy face, ses I, an'l left. .-• \ Now, MrEddither, I'm grately placed the way our Tames byes (an' far the matther uv that oor girls too) thrated our naybors frum the Wykatho. Be jabers 'twas moity dacint any way. An' Major Jackson tuk me to wan side the mornin' they wnr lavin', and siz he, Tim, siz he, begor I'm dumfoundhered intirely, an* don't noe what tv say ta ye this blessid momen'. Shure, ye'z nonplashed as altugithir, an' the byes ondther me charge is in ixtisies wud yez. Iviry man at am mcd mounting uv. Laun a Vaillthe! Lashins an' Lavins! Be the hokey, I've a job ta git am away at all at all. Och! Biz I, don't minshin id, oald man. Share we can't help it, 'tis the nather in the bastes. Did ye think I lived here so long an' oudden't tache urn Irish hoshpitallity, bad on me suekins twasn't thim away, far there the elane, mannerly lads ye bare wud ye. Well now maybe yell be afther thinkin' tiz lies I'm going to tell ye, bad shore tie the blessed truth. I'm afther settlin' the dishpute betwixt me friends in Bhorland an Gramestown, anint the shannel, an the Harbor Board iz goin to prizint me wad a laminated testimonal, ana hansumprizint out uv their surplush funds. Programme part the fusht az they says in the play oils: Cimminse from Dod's korner, lavin; the Shorland warf fora brakewind •thrate fur Curtisis warf, which dissiet in three haves, twinty yards outside the Guds Warf tv hit the ahannel mcd before, and in at the new Lite House, Tararu. We gits the use uv the Akalund dridge on the same azy terms az afore, only we musht inshure her agin fire this time. The shanuel will be twinty feet deep, and a hundhred wide, wid a sound posht and rale fince on aich side, an Hoburtown palens to kape the durty wather out. Iv coorsa-J was gided be pasht ixparinoe. in<*Nft**r silt works, bud I nivir lit on. So I gits all the creddit uv the grand ondthertakin. I had a verry purty let!her put in me hand a cuppel uv days ago from me Tapu frinds, be me ould akaintinee Mac, uv that lokallity. We wint to Mmlligan's az aich uv us has an oald nather far Mick. Mac sed 'twas dacint uv me ta put in the soft word far him, wad me ould frind Sandy, an' he was rite now wad the County. This letther was axin me to uze me grate onflninse wud me frinds to get u'm a rode in Tappu Kreek. They sed they wer' poor budonnist, an' if I dun any good fur 'am they'd renumber me in their prayers, so whin a bye musht da; sumthin' fur his poor sowl I soffened down, and toult him if he'd'wate a day ur so, iz I hed lodes uv buxzeniss to attind to, I mite go there an' look for oneself. Far the matter ur that, siz he, I hare a little

privet affair uv me one, an' a day or so is nothin' tv me, so I'll wate fur ye, an' I'll show ye where to spind a plezant eyenin'. Well, I'm goin' to inshure me life to* morrow wud Honniss far three daze, an'

if I gets back safe, I'll give ye all partikillers iv me nixth.

So no more at prizint frum yer obadiant servunt to kummand, Tim Doomr.