The Judge and the R.M.

Thames Star, Volume XI, Issue 3459, 26 January 1880, Page 2

The Judge and the R.M.

(By Vebdant.)

The great Pro-Consul, among the many good deeds done by him, appointed a new District Judge for a northern capital, and the appointment was universally approved of, for an upright man had been chosen, and ability and talent had met its just reward. " Jedge " J. E. had formerly been one of the leading legal lights of Quartzville, whose effulgence has burnished the metallic lustre of that city, and made it t!)o«veritable " Hub of the Universe"— the charmed cenire round which the. whole world of New Zealand revolves May its shadow never.grow less ? But to return to the subject. The "Jedge" when a simple Quartzville barrister was universally known and respected—a veritable prince of good fellows, and a renowned fire fighter, equally great at funerals, marriages, cricket matches, and flower shows—and to such a man belonged the esteem of his fellow citizens, as by inherent right. J. E. was at the height of his popularity when he departed, and the asthetic Quartzvillers presented him with a brand new silver set of tea things, a brand new bat, together with handsome jewellery for his female relations—we hear some reader exclaim " his sisters and his cousins and his aunts."

Tupper, or some other philosopher, writes an aphorism about circumstances altering the characters of men. To a certain extent this was exemplified in the case of the subject of this memoir. On shading the dust of Quartzville from his feet lie determined in future to put a thick clothing of conservative exclusiveiie«s as befitted the higher run? of the ladder of life on which he had just rested his advancing foot. It was well enough to he- ' hail fellow well met " with Mwvone; vrhcn a simple barrister, but an occupant oi (he wool sacks, would have to behave with befitting dignity—would iiave to assume a sort of " touch me not" and " stand off the grass " manners. Shortly after entering on his judicial .;lilies, the new " Jedge " had to proceed io an up country town for the purpose of trying several cases. The court was to be iieiu iv the hall of justice of the local ii. :Vf. who, it may be mentioned, had only recently been appointed to that office. The Judge arrived at the court house early iv the morning, and the only person ..!i the premises was the new lI.M. The urrat man looked round at the walls of the stuffy little room, and noticed that they w re dirty, and did not quite like it. His : jc then fell on the other occupant of the i'uihiing, and jumping to the conclusion that he was the bailiff, he began to abuse him in round terms for the filthy appearance of the court house, concluding !>y ordering him at once to sweep and cleau up a bit. Whether the K.M. was scared by the forcible oratory of ihe judge or only wished to have a little joke at his expense, deponent sayeth not, but at any rate he seized-a broom and soon made the dust and cobwebs fly round the head of the judge, who remained to supervise the work of purification, his hand comfortably ! deep down in his trowsers pockets. While the work was proceeding to the utmost satisfaction of the judge, in rushed the real bailiff, and stopped wouderstruck at the sight :

" Your Worship," he exclaimed, " this is infra dig. Please allow me to sweep out."

You can just fancy our friend J. E. Hi 3 jaw fell. He pulled up the waistband of his trousers and explained, addressing the 8.M., " Ar'nt you the bailiff I took you for ? "No! I'm the Eesident Magistrate, MrN ."

"Oh, be dad, what a mess I have made. I'm sure I apologise Mr N——." " But who the deuce ar» yon ?''. asked the late acting house-maid.

"Oh, I'm the new District Judge, but come over to Pearce's and let's have a drink and forget this little mistake."

" I'm not given to interfere with other people's business, and nerer again will I act the part of head house maid." They went for the cocktail, and many a laugh hare each had since over the matter, and the tale being too good to be kept a secret at length reached my ears.