ODDS AND ENDS.

Thames Star, Volume X, Issue 3396, 10 November 1879, Page 2

ODDS AND ENDS.

Mary bed a little lamp, Filled full of kerosene; She took it onco to light a fire, Aud has not tines benzine.

Lives of walkers oft remind us, We can rake in many a dime; Moke a record aitnply by our Footpads on tho trace of time.

The man who has a auikea wife, Can't please her with a sonnet. There's jusfc one way to end tho strifeBuy her a Bummer bonnet.

A great operatic " star " once gate kor servant, a simple country girl, aa order For thd opera on a night when she appeared in one of her greatest parts. That evening the great prima donna surpassed herself; she was recalled time after time; the audience was wildly enthusiastic; almost every number was encored. Oa returning home she wearily asked her maid how she enjoyed the opera. " Well, the opera, ma'am, was fine, but I felt sorry for you," was the reply. " For ma child? and why?" "Well, ma'am," said the wailing maid "you did everything so badly that the people were always shouting and storming at you, and making you do it all over again." This pathetic inscription is fronißiddeford, Maine:— -^, . The wedding day appointed was, The wedding clothes provided, But ero the day did como, alas ! He sickened and he dieded. A Husband's Farewell.—" Dear Sal, the doctor tells me our baby's tooth won't be through for three weeks yet; till then good-bj'e; you always said you lored it more than I did." " Oh," said the afflicted wife, weeping over his body, "he said he would take off his flannels anyway, and, poor man, ho little thought how soon he would go to that place where flannels are never needed." No matter how indulgent a man may be, no matter how sweet a disposition he may have, he will feel considerable put out, if not totally wild, when he discovert that his wife has been driving nails ia the wall with his razor strop. Poetry and Prose. —Lucy has posed the little rustic model, and Mary, Maud, and Madeline sit pencil in baud, ready tc catch and transfer to paper the child's expression of wonderment and delight as it listens, for the first time in its lite, to the murmur of the shell. Lucy—•• Now, darling put the pretty shell to your ear and hark to what it says i" Rustic Model—" Lor, is that all! Why, a beer. jug can do that? " —Punch.