A Prize Essay.

Thames Star, Volume X, Issue 3365, 4 October 1879, Page 4

A Prize Essay.

After man came woman. And she has been after him ever since. She is a person of noble extraction, being made of a man's rib. I don't know why Adam wanted to fool away his ribs in that way, but I suppose he was not accountable for all he did. It costs more to keep a woman thnn three dogs and a shotgun. But she pays i you back with interest by giving you a house full of children to keep you awake all night and smear molasses candy" all over your Sunday coat. Besides, a wife is a very convenient article to have about the house. She is handy to swear at when you cut yourself with a razor, and don't feel like blaming yourself. Woman is the superior being in Massachusetts. There are about sixty thbusafld more of her sex than males in the state. This accounts for the terrified, hunted down expression of the single men who emigrate from the .East. Woman was not created She lias her faults —such as false hair, and false complexion, and so on. But she is a great deal better than her neighbors, and ■he knows it. Eve was a woman. She must have been a model wife, for it cost Adam nothing to keep her in clothing. Still I don't think they were a bit happy. She couldn't go to sewing circles and air her information about everybody she knew, nor excite the envy of other ladies by wearing her new •winter bonnet to church. Neither could she hang over the back fence and gossip with her near neighbor. All these blessed privileges wer« denied her. Poor Eve! she's dead now. And the fashion she inaugurated is deai| now. If it hadn't been for the confounded " snaik " perhaps the ladies of the present day would dress as economically as Eve did. Woman is*endowed with a tremendous fund of knowledge and a tongue to suit She has the capacity for learning everything she was divinely intended to know, and a few extra items beside. Young ladies take a great deal of stock in classics and learn fast. When you see a young lady from Yasar with an absorbed look in her eye, and her lips moving, you understand at once that she is memorizing a passage from Virgil. But perhaps a closer inspection will reveal the fact that she is only chewing gum. A. woman may not be able to shorpen a lead pencil, or hold an umbrella, but she can pack more articles in a trunk than a jnan can in a four horse wagon. The happiest period of woman's life is when she is making her wedding garments, The saddest is when her husband cornea home late at night, and yells to her from the front doorstep to throw out a handful of keyholes of different sizes. There is some curiosity in feminine nature. For instance, I once knew a young lady who could easily pass another one in the street without looking around to see what she had on. Poor thing ! she was blind.—American Papesv.