THE RECENT GREAT FRENCH DUEL.
BY MARK TWAIN.
At half-past nine in the morning tho j procession approached the field of Plessis- . : Piquet in the following order:—-First ;icame our carriage—namely, in it but M. Gambetta and myself; then a carriage containing M. Fourtou and his second ; then a carriage containing two poet orators who did not believe in God. and these had MS. funeral orations projecting from their breast pockets; then a carriage con- • v::; tainibg the head surgeons and their cases of instruments; then eight private carriages with eight consulting surgeons; then a hack containing the coroner.; then the two 1 hearses ;■ then a carnage contain-
ing the head undertakers ; then a train-of assistants and mutes on foot; and after olhci'thefle came plodding 'through thei fog a long procession of camp followers, police, and citizens generally. It was a noble turn out, and would have made a fine disi '< 'pliy if we had had thinrier weather. h;u,> r^There!w*B'. no conversation. I spoke several times to my principal, but,l'judge
he was not aware of it, for he always iVt^referred""to- his note-book 'and, muttered " I die"tfiat France may live." Arrived on the field, my fellow, second i. and I paced off the 35 yards, and then "^ drew lota idt -choice 'of position. : This latter was but an ornamental ceremony, for all choices were alike in such Weather.
r^ These" preliminaries being ended, I went •A) pal arid asked him if he was ready. He spread himself out to his full ■n!t"io#idt ihi* >r' larid i'!s'aTdv'in a, stern voice,-— ro;^ii" A*l^W^dyJ'' t 'l^t.'tlld. Ijp'atte'ries'.bp1 j p'atte'ries'.bp charged.' 1 ; 1 'v^Ph(i i loading. ''was. done in the presence oF'ffuljr constituted witnesses. We considered it best to perform this> delicate servicejiyitli the assistance of a lantern, ! '6tia&c<mh[i • qf• 'tlie. state of. the>weather. '-'WinnoV^ j ■'• ": ' • J -I'> ,j^| p O ; n t the pojice noticed that the , pubjic had. massed themselves together on the field ;= they, ih?re'^''^jtfge,. begged) a del ay//while they should J put these^pgor.peqple.in a place of sjifety, The request was granted. j ; :1 . r The police haringv ordered 'the; two jjn^ltitudeß, to take ;positionbehin(i the duellists/we were once more ready, j The weather growing. ,still'^niore opaqiie, it was agreed between myself and the other second thaty before; giving the fatal signal; we should each deliver a loud whoop to enable the combatants to ascertain! each t ;.'" '"• .•;•••/.'•■: . ; f ; - t -,- : . ' I now returned to my principal,! and. was distressed to observe that he had loat i.ajgopd. deal of his spirit; I tried my best i to hearten him. I said, "Indeed^ sir,! things are not so'bad as they seem. Conaider ing the character of the weapons', the limited number of shots allowed,; the' generous 'distance, the i:impehetr!able ■'Solidity of the fog, and the added [fact, '(jilthat one df* the combatants is oho-eyed, and the o^her cross-eyed or near-sighted, 1 jriei that this conflict need not M^Sfegssariljrbe' fatil.' !^here are chajnces ihat bpth-jof ypu,may survive. TfjereWJ Tbre'i: 'cheer : up ; do inofc be down- ::-" ■•: ; ■ . i ■
This speech had so good an effect tkatr my-principal immediately stretched forth '■''^ibtoand 'and said, "I am myself agaiii; i a^ lai^iilwy.all-Jfinely and forlorn, in the Ij.^ceniretijpf the vast solitude of his palm. He pazed at it;and shuddered. And still >ff«ii»9Wri»fttlljtt! contemplating it, he njiurKii^nured in a broken; voice, "Alas, it is n<st; death I fear, but mutilation." : ;.'.
I heartened him once mere, and such Buocess that he presently said, "jLei i oslthfc 1 tragedy'begin" Stand, at my back-; do not desert me in this solemn hour,] my friend." ■ .:,...,>-,•,, j „.- I gave him,,my promise.,, I now: assisted'him to point bis pistol towards:the. spot where I judged his adversary to be standing, and cautioned him to listen well and further ,^uide 7 himself,by .my: fellow-^ second's whbbp/'.'^he^.-'I popped ; : myse]jf-: against M. Ga'mbetta's back and raised a rousing " Wh'bbp-eeT' 1' This was answered from out the for distances of the fog, and I immediately shouted \ '-, " One,—two,—three,—fire! " j - Two littl^ sounds like spit 1 spit !ybrjoke ; upon ujpon my ear, and in the same instant I was crushed to the earth under a mountain of flesh. Buried as I,was, I was stifl able to catch a faint accent from above, to »«ttiire^i^4?';':■:,;;:';■.;='■':':: '■''.'><,■ , ■': I --r "I'diefor' / . . for . . ... perdition take it, what is it I die.for ... (±", ;.,„ . oh, yes,—France? I die that France. hvitM&&r»'i- fl'--n':[Ui-<' ■'■""',:''■■"''::'::': ; :i': fiJThe-surgeons swarmed around with"} nv7<thekr%n^r6s%bp~e'B'io''tbe' I>hbleareaof':M. Gambetta's person^with the happy result of finding nothing in the nature of a wound,' which 'Was in every, ,_,l£ay. gratifying and inspiring. - i •"'!• The two, gladiators fell, upon each' •■'XO^ttr'f-^ii:, vfith, floods of protfd and;; "W^Si^y'WaFg;';; that other second embraced «o''?"ine {'■'tTii ISurget^~^e:.orat,prSj ttie uoder-takersiTthe^^^libtfi-'everybody embraced;' eTe.fyfc^y congratulated, everybody cried, and the whole atmosphere was filled with praise, and with joy unspeakable. j j-,lfyq ; 'Jt,!/Beeihedpto-me-then that I would. be the hero of a French duel than •-M*«Mwned arid sceptred monarch. ; | '•' When the commotion has somewhat. £*!^pKjiiaett;' "thisrbocly' of "surgeons h eld! a 'consultation,. and, after a good deal; of 4ebate, decided thai, with proper care and nursing, there was reason to be-,/j-lieTe^that I would survive my injuries. r *" My jnterjaal hurts were deemed the most cjljfl^nous, since it was apparent that; a' broken rib had penetrated my left lung, tf)l |ad that many of my organs had been pressed out ao far to one side or the other Sfl'-of where they belonged that it was doubtful if they would erer learn to perform their functions in such remote and unaccustomed localities. They then set my left ami in two places, pulled my right hip into'its s cket again, and re-elevatfed my pose. 1 was an object cf great in.-, "^Werest' and even admiration; and many' sincere ,&nd .warm-hearted persons hid themselves introduced to me, and said' .they ;arere proud to know the only man n^fiohad teen hurt in a,French duel for iotij years. ' . I was s placed in an ambulance at the mi-Ye'ry'head of the"procession ; and this with gratifying eclat I was marched into Paris, the mosfc conspicuous figure in the great spectacle, and deposited at tl^e hospital. „. -. - tir J Th« cross of the Legion of Honour has been conferred Upon me. However, few eicape'that distinction. j Stlch^is a true version of the most memorable private' conflict of the age. —~M*~*!&eovery is still doubtful, but there ""«! hopes. I am able to dictate, but *X'4be/els ifo-knowing when I shall be able. W'tffl'ifkitf}' '" ' " I coitMgJh'aTe lio complaint to make awinfet .any one. I, acted for myelf T ,and I can
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Thames Star, Volume X, Issue 3298, 17 July 1879, Page 3
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1,073THE RECENT GREAT FRENCH DUEL. Thames Star, Volume X, Issue 3298, 17 July 1879, Page 3
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