YANKEE "NOTIONS."

Thames Star, Volume X, Issue 3133, 4 March 1879, Page 3

YANKEE "NOTIONS."

(AMEBICAH BXfcHAK&BS.)

Mrs Burnett calls a.baby an individual. Woman's sphere —A mouse is woman's f«ar. The 3000 wives of the King of biam live under one roof. ... , ' " Women suffer age a long while before they own up to it. The enemy that sews tear's while men sleep—their wires. ,! , . i i ' Edwin M. Stanton's daughter is a clerk in the War Department. Custom compels an Icelander to kiss every woman he meets. , „ , A'true woman loveth flowers-^-the kind the new bonnets are trimmed with. Mattd Grubb, the Cincirinatti singer, iaay yet develop into a prima donna butterfly. . „ , , It requires a certain culture to dress we ll a refined perception of the eternal fitness of things. . „ „, . A base arid irreclaimable philosopher has said : " Woman is a clock that runs Blow after five and twenty." Gold having come down to the par, the .girl with* pair of brass bracelets^ should be careful not to put on so many airs.Miss Hosmer's idea of heaven is a place where the inventor of a new moter has an unquestioned title to the invenAn unpoetical Yankee has described ladies' lips as " the glowing gateways of beans, pork, sauerkraut and potatoes.' Housekeepers should learn of the railroad companies, which always lock the car stoves, so that the fires can't go out, you know. V . ' We no longer question the propriety of considering vessels in the feminine gender. They run each other down almost every day in the English Channel. "John," said an hen-pecked wife, "I wish it was the fashion to trade husbands as it is to trade horses." "Why^soP' ••I'd cheat somebody before night. Love may be blind, as they say, but it can be noticed that in all the records of the ages it has never kissed the girl s mother by mistake when it reached after the girl. "Human opinion has so many shades that it is rare to find two people that agree." Human hair has the same diversity of shades, as a woman discovers when she goes to buy a switch. .There is nothing which fills the soul of a young man with consternation so much as to taile tiisbest girUo prayer-meeting, and have the paßtor call, upon " our stranger friend for a few remarks and a prayer." There was a wedding at Newtown. (Conn.)-the other day, after a vigorous courtship of fifteen years. The stars and stripes were* Hoisted on 4he hotel, and a salute of 100 guns was fired at the hour of the ceremony. . „ „ "Women are normally jolly, says a wrife'rV May be so, but when the church is in trouble and they put on lugubrious looks and go about soliciting contributions for a fair, you'll find the fair sex pensive. She returned his love, but even then he wasn't satisfied. She said she did not want'it.' . See here, girls, why riot call a spooney young man " Rain-water ? " Rainwater is softf you know. . The bashful man who asked his girl it her favorite beverage wasn't "pop," was referred to her popper. ■ ■ , Mrs Partihgton declares that she does not wish to vote, as she fears she couldn't stand the electrical franchise. Kate Claxton has appeared in the " Two Orphans " twelve hundred times, equal to two thousand four hundred orphans. A jpmantic young man says that a young wonian's heart is like the moon —it changes .continually, but always has a man in iti "