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Thames Star, Volume X, Issue 3115, 11 February 1879, Page 4

Economy in words.—A gentleman took the following telegram to a telegraph office: " I announce, with grief, the death of Uncle James. Come quickly to read will. I believe we are the heirs. James Black?' The clerk, having counted the words, said: " There are two words too many, sir/ " All right, cut out ' with grief.';.|f?U ' . Among other curiosities on exhibition at the American department of the Paris Exposition was a spring chicken from an American boarding-house. The chicken was taken to the guillotine one morning, but when the heavy knife fell on its neck, the fowl gave a frightened squawk, and after one or two. tremendous pulls, jerked its head away from under the knife and m*de lits way back to its coop in the Exposition. The knife was sent to the foundry for repairs. " Dovey/Y he said, " I think 1 was telling you after I came home last.night about the necessity of retrenchment in some of our expenditures, was I not?" " Well, really, I've forgotten, John," she answered, nonchalantly; "turn on the phonograph and see. He turned it on, and all it said was " Whazaer, wbazzer mazzer mazzer."