THE FAMILY ORCHESTRA.

Thames Star, Volume X, Issue 3091, 14 January 1879, Page 1

THE FAMILY ORCHESTRA.

(TOOK THB VBW TOBX TOCBS.)

The proprietor of en hotel at »n Eng. lish water-place recently entered a com* plaint againit a neighbour for annoying his guests with intolerable sounds. The instruments mentioned, wherewith these disturbing strainß were produced, were a cat, a dog, a harbour bell, a child, and a French horn. The report of the case is, unfortunately, meagre, and we bars not the explanation of the neighbour as to his aims and motires in practising upon such numerous and varied instruments at once, bnt we are disposed, contrary to the usual uncharitable way of the world, to take a considerate riew of his action. It would be gratuitous and unkind to assume that he was raored by a mere wanton desire to annoy and exasperate people, or that he was wasting his time is purposeless exertion. He was probably engaged in a serious and commendable endeavour to bring the tones of these several instruments into such harmonious combination as to produce most excellent music, and transform the noises that distract into a melody that should soothe and delight. It is well known that the cat has never yet been so manipulated as to produce music calculated to exalt and purify the soul of man. Its principal effect so far has been to lead him to tear his hair and rage, and to transform himself into a battery for hurling miscellaneous merchandise into back yards. It may be that this familiar instrument yet awaiti the maßter-kand, that shall know its stops and draw from it the ravishing strains of which it may be capable if properly controlled. But the more probable supposition is that it was never intended for solo playing, but might find its proper place in a skilfully • constituted orchestra, where its notes would be so modified and mingled with others as to lose the peculiar maddening quality so characteristic of them now. The dog and the. harbor bell have hardly been recognised as musical instruments at all, but that is due to the fac.t that their place in the domestic orchestra has not been understood, or no means has been discovered for con* fining them to their places and utilising them with effect. The common domestic child belongs to the same category as the cat. Sometimes the one has been mis* taken for the other by persons whose ears are not delicately attuned to difference! of sound.

" An infant crying in the night, An infant crying for the light And with no language .but a cry,"

may indeed be regarded as like the cat, the trombone, and the bast dram, rather disturbing than otherwise when operated upon by a solo performer, but capable of being used with fine effect if properly managed, as part of a nicely contrived combination. The French horn was doubtless used by the English amateur in his experiments for a purely subsidiary purpose, as an instrument better under* stood than the others, and useful in the early stages of his labour to give him a manageable basis upon which to group the other sound s. Like a true man of science, he began with a small number of the instruments of domestic sound, intending to proceed carefully and gradually to bring in others, such as the cow, the horse, pokers of varying power and compass, the poultry-yard, the clattering kitchen maid, the strident serving maid, and the shrill housewife. Naturally, while tuning the separate instruments, he Caused a deal of annoyance to the guests, of the neigh* boring hotel, which was, unfortunately, near his musical laboratory, but it is to be hoped that the complaints of which the English papers inform us, will not put an end to bis efforts and baffle one of the most interesting and beneficent of scientific experiments. Ever since Mr Edison began to make bis remarkable discoveries regarding the manageability of sounds and to invent machinery for grinding them into all man* ncr of desirable forms, and we have felt convinced that some device might come from his prolific brain, or that of somebody else, which should gather up the stray noises that infest the day and make the night hideous, and by softening this and enlarging that, supressing one and exalting another, and combining and mingling all upon some distinct scientific principle, should turn out a finished pro* duet that would be enchanting. Then might even the hammering of nails and the «awing of boards become as raw material which should, pour into the fun* nels of an orohestropibone and come out shining threads of sound, so to apeak, mingling with others in a beautiful webof «xqui«te harmony. Clearly, some such device is needed in making up an orchestra of cats, dogs, and other domestic instruments of sound, which are now either useless or exasperating, for players could never be trained to operate them individually with the requisite skill and exactness. They must be set agoing with little attempt to control or manage their separate utterances, and then the volume of undigested sound must be received by the transforming machine and brought into harmony and beauty of the finished product. The Englishman's mistake was probably in not working with this view, and it remains for the inventive genius of America to take up the task, for which any foreigner would be likely to prove incompetent.