COUSINS.

Thames Star, Volume IX, Issue 3071, 18 December 1878, Page 1

COUSINS.

I >Thr estimation in which cousinship is ndd must, of necessity,' vary greatly, not; only • according to the position in, which twelves; tat'also according to that, in which we 1 find our cousins. Especially, is this the eaie'when cousins,are young'and unmarried, ancl when there js, a 'etiande' of'tne natural''frieridship of, relationship, developing still warmer as-' pirandns and relations. A cousin is a sort Of bybrid^with much of the privileges of brotherdrsister, arid yet with a capacity for 'lore making just the same as' any* casual acquaintance who cannot claim a blood .With an ordinary .acquaintance, friendship and intimacy are natters of, growth and;of gradual development, if ever attained; 3>ut a cousin itartas li*<e->Miiienra^ fully armed, *ahd with an ex-offioio intimacy by right of relationship. To a young lady just out, and launchedin\* London season, agreeable co«sins;>. especially of the opposite •ex, are a great resource;- » It is, pleasant to hare friends whom she may call by their Christian'names and" treat as intiinates, even 1 though she may hare k; \ovra themonlj byname* Until she r left the schoolroom and came,,to town, they are sure to be devoted and useful.; she can send them to perform duties and execute commisAiorts which she could not require of Other male acquaintances' without putting herself at once'm •# false ■ position. She can dance irith them as stop-gaps, time after time,'if ih'e should'find other partners fail her; and if mamma happens to be complaisant, the maj^ even find herself allowed to accept their!escort to the Academy, or for an afternoon's shopping^ or to church on Sunday. The male cousin on his part is equally pleased with the privileges; which his relationship accords him; if his cousins are passably good looking or agreeable, the temptation to their society is strong, and can be indulged in without laying either party open to the same amount of criticism which would be excited if no relationship existed between the two. If bystanders remark, how thick Mr A. seems to be with that young lady; or, how familiar Miss . B.s manner seems to be with that young gentleman, the reply is simple: "They are cousins." ■ ••• Oh, then! that explains it all," and little more is thought of it, unless tne attachment should become more marked than is customary even between relations of this sort. 1 The conduct and feelings of the young people begin with a natural and licensed fraternity;. often they remain so to .the «nd of the 'chapter, on both sides. The male cousin, while enjoying the society and friendship of his female relative, may never indulge in any weakness of the heart on his own part, 'and may be even energetic to further any attachment on the young lady's part as freely as if he were advancing a love. affair of one of, his. own sisters. When the hour comes for*her immolation, ho m%ay follow her to the altar as one of the groomsmen, .without a pang, and with a pride" of part propri'etoVship in the family beaut} T who is the centre of attraction for the dajf- He "may have kept himself; heartwhc^or either by choice, or by the self-control of compulsion, knowing that he is not l.v A position' to marry on his own part, ami not bei'i;*'so* much of a dog in the manager as to wist to play with the prey which he Jcnbws he caVi«ot retain for himself. Vice versa, .the you^S l»dy may be actually the confidante of her cousin in his own love affair with some o^e else, and may goodnaturedly and without jealousy on her own part further the attachment, and play" gooseberry " judicious!/ when called upon. If the cousins have on both sides had a certain amount of experience of the world when first they come into contact, such a position as ~we have here sketched is by no means improbable, or uncommon. Or, if one or both have already a weakness for some one else, then there is considerable safety in the association and friendship. :But there are other phases of cousinship which. parents know too well, and which cause them, when cousins on ono tide or the other are not what the world considers eligible partis, to look upon the relationship with much the same regard that a foxhunter entertains for a black frost. If cousins should get entangled on both sides all sorts of complications may ensue. Many people have a rooted objection to the mating of first cousins .upon physical grounds, and it is certain * that idiotcy, deafness and dumbness, and •other such evils, result more often from marriages'of this sort than from others. When family ambition prompts a cousinly alliance, for the sake of retaining a property in a family, or to round \off two estates in a ring fence, the objections are overlooked, but when no such external recommendations exist for a match between cousins, the evils of close alliances in blood are strongly deprecated. Also, if both girl and man are scanti y endowed with this worlds goods,, and the girl is pretty; and young, her parents may naturally object to her throwing herself* away on a penniless relative, and may preach homilies against the follies of love in a cottage. The male cousin is, then, to them, a bugbear, who, by his position and right to familiarity, engrosses the girl's mind, and prevents it from being attracted in more useful directions; he plays the part of his own watchdog,"afidT keeps other suitors too much at bay. It may happen that of the two, young, people, one only is amorous, while tho other remains strictly cousinly in affection. If so, the former, whether he or she, will come-scathed out of v th<? encounter.* It seems'almost a pity that first cousins, at all'^vpafc;, sitoulcf'not by common. conseat a|£'-. declared within the pale of conmtiK&Bky. "Double" first cousins (i.e., those fffrpse parents are brothers and sisters on' bofctwfides (are really more< closely related in blood^than half-brothers audsisters; noexternal strafr* of blood' has intervened since the line sprung from their common grand parents.

"Set the formm* are tolerated as alliances while nature revolts at tho idea of the other. Much of this natural chivalry and fraternal affection of courtship is in danger of being marred, if there can exist in the background^a soupqon of erotic passion. A cousin, under the usages of society, is neither fish, flesh, nor fowl. He "is not a brother, nor is he a. stranger. He can claim relations next door to those of pure fraternity, and yet often aspire to others wbich would place him on the same foot-; ing as an ordinary stranger un-allied in blood. Young people would be sorry to see cousinslvip abrogated ; and even older people would regret it if it concerned; Only themselves and not those under thejir care ; but many a parent would be thankful if cousins could be made to undergo a revaluation in society, and become either something rrore or something less than, they at present are; either ranking as brothers or sisters, and beyond suspicion, or else on the same footing as outsiders. To those who have the custody of young people in the chase arena of love, there-is-nothing so difficult to deal with as the person who can claim the right simulta- 1 neously to run with the hare and yet to hunt with the houndo.