THE AGED TRAMP.

Thames Star, Volume VIII, Issue 2960, 10 August 1878, Page 4

THE AGED TRAMP.

The lady of a Cottage Kill house, the nurse girl and cook, held a brief consultation, and concluded that an old mnn, whose toes stuck a rod out. of his boots, and the crown of whoso summer hat. was held by a hinge of straw and flapped up and down in (he .wind, disclosing the fact that the aged wearer was bald, very bald, must bo really worthy, and they invited him to a seat in the kitchen while his breakfast was being prepared. The fragrance of the frying-pan revived the drooping spirits of the aged tramp, and unlocked his streams of conversation which the cold charities of the world hnd frozen up. Tilting his chair back he said, " T!ie people of the oil regions appear to get along right slick. Everywhere I have been things look comfortable nnd i home like, and business ecems to be crowding right, ahead." With this as a starter, the old man carried the conversa tion through state and national politics, religion, literature, &c. "I like my meat well done," he suggested to the cook, who he observed was preparing to lift his steak fiom the stove; "and that reminds me," he went on, "that the Russians are pursuing an under-done, wishy-washy course on the banks of the Danube." He tightened the cord that held his coat together in lieu of buttons, flapped an ear to unseat a troublesome fly, and continued: "Dog my cats if it doesn't make me half mad at the Czar. If I had command of that army, do you know what I would do ! and he shut one eye and glared at the lady of the house as inquiringly as a catechism. No one seemed to know. "I would push right acioss," exclaimed the old man, str king the sink with his fist. " and if I wouldn't make them greasy Turks hunt their holes, there's no hereafter. All it requires is a pontoon bridge and a little git up and go 'long Mary Jane." His breakfast was ready, and thrusting his legs under the table with the air of a man who had just bought the house and lot and paid the money down, he harpooned a roasted potatoe, and continued : " Old Hop-ar.d go fetch-it, who has command of the "Russian zouaves, is in the best position in the world to skip right along into Constantinople and take possession of the Courthouse. I would do it —I swear to gracious I would do it," and ' he reached out and captured a hard boiled egg. " I would do it so quick it would make their everlasting heads swim. Then I would take a run across the Mediterranean, flop down on the i w uez Canal boats, tear up the tow-path, and take pos session of the mules. Then across the country of the gulf of Mexico, I would fly as a hurricane, leaving death and desolation in my—see herp, Susan," he said, breaking short and addressing the nursegirl, " for the love of heaven, don't hold the baby with his head down." —Ex.