THE FRESH AIR IDIOT.
BTTBMHGTON HAWKEYB. He dresses in a manner peculiar to his tribe, does the fresh air idiot. He wears two pairs of woollen stockings and heavy cork-soled boots; two suits of flannel underware, a chamois chest protector, a double knit jacket, a wopllen vest, lined pantaloons that weigh "about eighteen pounds and are as impervious to air ; as a rubber blanket; a double-breasted coat, fur gloves, and a seal-skin cap pulled down over his ears. Thus attired it is the delight of his one ideal soul to meet you some bracing September morning, *nd regard, with a fixed stare and wild
of derision, you in your fall suit and light overcoat. " Oil' with it, man," he yells, smiting his chest with his buried hands. " Off with it! Why, bless ray soul, I haven't worn an overcoat for more than ten years. What do you want with an overcoat ? Brace up, inhale the fresh air; fill your lungs with it till it makes your nerves tingle with natural health-giv ing, glowing warmth." He bangs in upon you in .your-office. "Whoof!" he snorts, looking wildly around him, " what an oven! Don't you know you are killing yourself in here? Whew ! This air comes from a lime kiln. It dries up my lungs like parchment." And' he leaves the door wide open and a toitent of icy wind rushes in and bathes your slippered feet in a chill that doesn't leave them for a week; he rushes across the office,and opens a window on your back that makes you shudder hours after you are asleep that night; he closes the draughts and opens the stove door, and then sits close behind it, out of the draught he has opened on .you, and. tells you how warm and comfortable he is, and how he never permits his room to get so hot as yours was when he came into it. He deluges you with his twaddle about fresh air an) ventilation, and doesn't go away and let you make yourself comfortable until he has caught you a cold that will stick to you all winter, cost you $295 for medical services, and then kill you in the spring- . ' '
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Thames Star, Volume VIII, Issue 2935, 12 July 1878, Page 3
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367THE FRESH AIR IDIOT. Thames Star, Volume VIII, Issue 2935, 12 July 1878, Page 3
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