A FRONTIER EDITOR.

Thames Star, Volume VIII, Issue 2928, 4 July 1878, Page 3

A FRONTIER EDITOR.

I was sitting in my office late one afternoon, half buried in a pile of papers, when a tall youth, with a freckled face, entered the room, I -was city editor of a Texas daily newspaper at the time, a position in that State at once hazardous and exciting. "Well, Bir," I said to the. youth, .as he approached me, " what can I do for you ? " The freckle-faced stranger emptied his mouth of an accumulation of tobacco juice, and asked: " Are you the editor ? " - If I had not been busy at the time I should not have deceived him, but as it was I replied: ( " No,Tn» not the editor; I'm the proprietor. Any thing more ? " " How aany editors have ye ? " asked the stranger,-pulliag at the torn rim of his broad, white hat. "Two," -I replied; "a political woodcarver and a mau for the city business. They are both out now." " An'you're the proprietor ?" quried the stranger, eyeing me sharply. "Yes." 111 Wai, don't you think another man on this 'ere paper would make a bigger racket, an' more music for the people? " "Well, really, I don't know," I. replied, laughing. " Plenty of sp:ce, is what we want. Are you seeking such employment ? " ■ :'■ "I rather think I am," answered the itranger j that's why I'm here to see you." i " What experience have you had ? " i fA pow^ut sight," replied the youth. f I've scratched a good for the Yazoo Thunderer, and ri*a-heap for the Frontier Ripper. Oh, I've got it into me, an' its bound to come •it one way or the other. Oau you give me • lift?" I thought a moment, then replied : * " Have you seen my city editor ?" '■"• No; what sort of an. animal is he ? " * A poor stick," I said. "I'm going to •}, botcce him at once." •'An' gim me his place ? " "Well, yes, if everything suits. You know the'jluties of the position ?" " I'm a trifle off thero, pard," said the stranger, "but.l reckon you can post me. Howmany hours ?". " lourteen, mostly at night ? " "Vhew! Any whiskey?" " Vhisbey cot allowed." " Bow many knock-downs a week ? " "Eight on an average. Oh, we're a lively crowd" Thi strange youth backed towards the door, and v he seized the knob he said : "Ireckon I don't want the job. It's too lively for me. I ain't ueed to eich work. Better hire a prize-fighter." " Nonsense! " I exclaimed j it's easy enough get used to it. Come, I'm deternined to hare your assistance. A hundred gollan a month and board." The liberality of the offer brought the freckle-faced stranger to just sense of his own

importance, and he engaged himself at once to fill the place. " Sit down there an 1 uinka up all the lies y<su can," I said, pointing l> a large araw-hair near the table. "You med'nt mind tho people around here; the men are all small and weak. All I ask of you ia to write—l'll do the fighting." The new editor began business at onoe. He chewed the end of'his pencil a while, and then began to write like mad So I left him, and went into the composing room, and called Dan, the foreman. "Dan," I nnid, "I've employed a. new editor, and hu's in the sanctum just making things fly. I'm going to put a job on him. He's a green you;h from the border, imd I think he's p»?i'y poiror). Let's fix Mm:" j 11 All right," snid Dan, who was considered "immense" at such t tinys ; " how shall we doit?" I whispered something in his ear, and we both laughed, and went out by a side door into the hall. An hour later, just after the office devil had lit the lamps, a man at least eight feet in height, broad-shouldered henry-footed, with a large club in his band, darkened the door of the sanctum, and glared savagely at the new editor. The new intruder was a hardlooking customer, and his height—well, when I tell you it was only myself mounted on Dan's shoulders, disguised by a heavy hat and two or three coats, you will not be surprised at anything. lam a small man, and very lig' t, while Dan is large and heavy * therefore the transformation. " Wai, sir, who • are ye ?" exclaimed the new editor, starting up, while * is hair fairly turned to bristles. " I am here to smash you," I sai 1, changing my voice to a deep guttural, at the same time giving the table a terrible (hump with, my club. ""Will you red-act, you hound, or shall I murder you at once ? " The editor fell back in apparent dismay. "Do you dafy me ?" T shrieked, rushing towards him. " Out with you into the 6treet, or I'll drink your life's blood. You worm, you crawling thing, you nameless horror! Begone!" I am sorry to say it, but the freckled-faced young man did not scare worth a cent; he just pulled his coat oil', .shook his head like a mad bull, and chargec-rtiErSnemy. I think there never was a battle won quicker. In less than three soconds Dan was knocked off his feet, and then bath he and I were hammered unmercifully, and the new editor all the time howling and shouting like mad. *.. ■'„-* " I'm boBS of this ranch," he cried as he tumbled us both into the hall and slammed the door. "I kin kick the life out of any fourteen men in the State." Disgraced—more than disgraced, badly pummelled—Dan and I consulted together in the hall, and then and there decided to go in and apologise, and offer the man a bribe to leave the place. " I've had a big time since you've been gone," said the new editor, recognising me as the proprietor of the establishment. " Why, a man kirn in here a while ago and wanted me to retract. He was a sort of double-back-action chup, about ei»ht feet high, an' powerful big around, But I knocked the jelly out o- him in three seconds, an' somehow he kind o' fell to pieces at the laßt, an' I swept his remains into the hall. Oh, I'm a masher of the worst kind." Dan punched m», and I began to talk. I told tho whole story, who I was, how I bad tried to scare him, and all about it. Then I offered him 25 dols. if he would keep quiet and leave the place. He consented, made a few observations on tho uncertainty .of all tilings, smiled blandly, and left the room. "When he was gone I breathed easier, and thought nothing more would come of it; but the following morning the opposition paper, The Bugle, contained a full report of the affair, with big hcad-lices, and a burlesque editorial on the mishaps of "yours truly." But whether the editor of the aforesaid sheet got his news through the keyhole, or by word of mouth from the freckled-faced lunatic who had given me such a thorough drubbing, I never could discover.