BREACH OF PROMISE OF MARRIAGE.

Thames Star, Volume VIII, Issue 2882, 11 May 1878, Page 4

BREACH OF PROMISE OF MARRIAGE.

(FBOM THE TIMES.) To the-many grotesque or ridiculous objects one after another swept away for better space, order, or decorum, Mr HerBchell proposes to add the action for breach of promise of marriage. He will not expect to do this without opposition, for, no doubt, the institution has some admirers, and a still wider class of readers. There are few matters of home or foreign policy, of national or local interest, that would stand a chance beside a column of a good breach, of promise' case. People do not readily give up what has so long occupied;a prominent place in the field of rision.. But, like other idols of a people or a class, this one stands condemned as an offence to good taste and an exception to sound principles. It is a coarse survival that still-has-the sanction of law, like some of the boisterous customs, chartered fairs, and other annual reigns of misruleVa which one by cne exceed all endurance nnd compel the Legislature to deaf iSunimarily' with them. As a tolerated custom the action for breach of promise,; of,, marriage ■,has long been extinct on the male side of the question. No well-advised man would venture to call a woman, into court for not fulfilling her promise to marry him. let no difference can be pretended between the case of the ■woman and that of the man. There are, indeed, women who say that there is a difference— '■ that a man can easily find a wife, and that his prospects are not blighted;by a disappointment of this sort; but the women who say this are not the women to be listened to on such a question. They belong to the stratum of intellect and feeling which now supplies breach" of promise of marriage cases; * These actions are confined hot only to women, but to a peculiar class of women—-that is, generally speaking, fornoje and then some poor creature better, than the rest is dragged into Court by stupid or avaricious friends. Every reader roust be conscious that upon turning to a breach of promise of marriage case, he expects to find a scheming, enterprising, and rather clever woman, over-anxious to hook a victim, and still more to secure -him. The action for breach of promise is a landing-net always in the background. TJiere-'is always a.wonderful amount of; promises made over and over again, with pledges and tokens, innumerable, till the victim, appears in a net, like the lion 'in the fable. The man himself is generally" some one with an uncle reputed rich, or a business he is' to succeed to, or an > employment estimated to yield £5 or £10 a week. He has long been the laughing-stock of a neighbourhood for his - loves or Other follies. He is a confirmed invalid, or a widower with a large family, j or nearer 70 than 60, or never known to i

be sober, or an habitual writer of amatory letters,-'as* to which neither he nor anybody elie could say whether they are serious or. not. There are sometimes cases where a scoundrel is shown to Lave deliberately deceived and abandoned a woman, but as often as not the defendant

was much wiser in backing out of the affair than he was in getting into it, and Iris reasons for breaking his promise are fairly convincing.- The woman has suffered no loss, but, rather, gain, by his breaking his word, for her interest can be only thesame as; his," and if it is best he should not marry: her,' it is equally the best that she should not marry him, which really is' the question"at issue. The moral obligation to fulfil a promise to marry is so great that there can be no doubt it: often prevails over considerations that should decide the other way. If a man finds on reflection that he was not justified in promising a happy home, for he had not the means of fulfilling that promise, or finds, on better acquaintance, that he was mistaken in his estimate of the lady, or that she was mistaken as to him, it certainly is advisable that he should not be held bound to what is more or less wrong. Even in the extreme case of a change of feeling for no assignable reason but the merest cnprice, or because the man has seen somebody else that he : likes better, it has to be remembered that in the ceremony of marriage the man promises to love the woman, which, in . this supposed case, he does not and can-

not do. The woman who sues a man at law for breaking his promise has to complain that he. would not marry her even when" he'had, ceased to love her, and she therefore claims for a husband a irian that does not love her and tells her as much. Such a claim is almost revolting; but it really is the claim that is made in these cases. A lady of delicate feelrings would rather die. than make,it, whether in private or, still more, with all

the glaring publicity of an Assize Court, amid the scowls and the sneers of an assembled county. When a promise is broken both parties must feel that a great mistake.has been made, and that now the less is "said or done about; it the better. There will -be more blame on one aide than on the other, and society will award to each their idue share. The offender, of whichever sex, does no go unpunished, for the broken word will never be forgotten, aud nobody frill ever listen to another promise made by such a person without the reflection that he cannot quite answer for himself, and is not to be entirely relied on!" Vacillation, caprice, unsteadiness of principle or feeling are scarcely less contemptible than formal breach of promise, aud any sensible man or woman will beware of those who cannot depend on themselves, and therefore cannot be depended on by o.'hers. Thfe existing state of the law making a promise to marry a legal contract defeats its purpose by encouraging long engagements and endless delays. A man promises to marry, hastily, perhaps, arid without due provision, but if he and the lady honestly wish for ''love in"a cottage," there; can be no reason why they should not try it. The parents, however, especially on the lady's side, do not like this, and insist on the young people waiting indefinitely for better or more certain prospects. His attachment is expected to stimulate his professional exertion, or

■ to OTercqme bis independence of feeling, H and drive him to seek a patron ■ or cultivate '■ some interest. Meanwhile ■ there is generally a certain; reserve H imposed upon his communications with H the lady; he is not to see her too often or H too much alone. He is to go about as an H engaged man, andto observe the duties H of the position. In fact, he is not to go H about ioo much, or to be too much in ■ female company. Meanwhile no such I restraints or limitations are placed on the ■ lady, who goes to as many picnics, dances, ■ gardeu parties, or excursions as she can ■ get invitations for. All this time if she ■ changes her mind, it ouly is the privilege ■ of her sex. Her own bonds are silk, gosearner rather, while the gentleman's are ■MMkßH^uuHTfetters. This is to go on

for years, and the gent'eman inspected to be no worse for keeping, which the lady certainly will be. The way to meet this one-sided schome is to offer a promise on the condition of early performance, which will generally have the legitimate effect of preventing an engagement altogether. A promise for an indefinite period, to be fulfilled some time or other when circumstances are more propitious than now, is even worse than an international treaty warranted to stand for ever. Tinder every possible change of circumstances. Experience, not of a pleasant sort, has lately shown that this is a folly, and nothing more. It' people cannot marry now, there may Be less reason, but there may be also greater reason, why they should not marry five years hence. But it would always be far better that both should be at liberty to recognise the changes which, time, separation, general society, and other reasons are sure to bring about. If tliis be thought an abandonment of that high principle and that fixity of purpose which are among our national virtues, then by all means let both parties accept the'position of engaged persons—one already in heart and mind, but waiting;for the happy day that is to remove the wall ot circumstances now between them.. Let not the lady be dressed like a May fly, let her not go about the freest of the free, open to flirt with any bod v, because in her case flirtation is.to lead to nothing,'unless," indeed, she should think fit to break her bonds altogether. But all these questions fly above the head of the class reallyl concerned in the ordinary breach of promise of marriage cases. These .incidents, charming as they are to a certain class of readers who will sorely miss them if Mr Hcrschell's Bill •becomes law, are as disgraceful to this country as the sale of wives with a halter found their necks in the market-place :would be if it were a daily occurrence here, as all foreigners are told from their youth. ■* It is not for any decent Englishman or-Englishwoman, of any rank, high or low, that there exists the legal facility for exhibiting to the public the letters of maudlin sots or crazy dotards in the clutches of hungry spinsters or disreputable widows. These are ihe polite letter-writers of our period; these are our Sapphics and Anacreontics. We cannot but be sorry to deprive some readers of their amusement, even though it only occur a dozen times or so in a year. But good taste has put an end to many other amusements not more exceptionable. Cockfighting, btill-baiting, and the prizering are things of the past in this country, and it is quite time that the public trial of breach of promise of marriage should follow them. ' ,