A FUNNY MISCHANTRE.

Thames Star, Volume VIII, Issue 2878, 7 May 1878, Page 2

A FUNNY MISCHANTRE.

(By Nobth.)

I hae often promist tae write oot for yer paper ony bits o' news that micht come under ma personal observation, but lcevin' as I am in sic an oot-o'-the-wy corner its no aften I hear o' ony thing worth prentin'. When I dae happen tae hear o' onything the pen is no aye reddy tae my hand', an' sometimes, tae tell the truth, I'm no aye in the 'umour o' writin'. A sma' bit *o a mistak', hoosomever, was mentioned in my lug the ither day, an' I think it may be worth tellia*.

It appears that a Kaitangataeman had been up in the toonship in the afternoon on some coal business. Jist whan he was aboot tae leave for hame, he, as luck wad hae it, forgather'd wi' an " auld cronnie" frae Warepa, an' of coorse they maun hae " a dill" thegether. First the ane ca'ed in the waiter, then the itherj an' they had drappy after drappy until they werna fu' butjust had plenty. They were just a kind o' canty wys. The oors flew past unkennin' tae them, until nicht set in, and it was geyan dark. They ordered oot their pownies, an' after partakin' o' the " stirrup cap," they hirstled on their beasts, gie'd each ither a hearty shake o' the haun', said gude nicht a dizzen o' times, when ilka ane took his am gaet an' jogged awa! hame. The Kaitangatae man hadna' gaen far when he thocht he had ta'en mair then ibe shud hae dune, or else there wis something wrang wi' his shalt. It didna seem as if \it was gaen hame; it wasna' sac speerity like at it generally was when its heid was turned tae Zaitangatae; its step was langer and no' sac steddy; the bridle rein hadna the same grip some wy; his seat didna feel sac siccar, an' he jaloused something was wrang, bat he cudna tell very weel what it was. Instead o' his shalt takin' the straught road hame as fast as it cud, an' as it used tae dae, it seemed inclined tae explore the bye-ways an' hedges, an' even tae turn roond if it were alloo'd a chance. "Dod, beast," says he, " what's the maiter wi' ye," an' wi' that he taks' her a skelp wi' his whup, a proceedin' that nearly had the effeck o' landin' him in a side ditch, an' he therefore didna repeat the chasteezement, but just shachled hame the best wy he cud. Maria' got tae the stable door he took his shalt bi' the heid an' led it in, striket a match an' examined it a' roond. " Losh keep me," says he, ••* I've stown a mere, or she's stown me; that's no ma mere ava. That accounts for her camsteery wys, and me, fule at I was, I was maist thinkin' I had ta'en a drop pwer muekle. But we's pet ye up for the nicht an' see what the morn '11 bring forth." So sayin' he carefully rubbed doon an' supper'd the beast, an' retired to explain maiters at hame the best wy he cud. His betterhalf condoled wi' him' upon his misfortin', an',said she wad hae. a look at the stable in the mornin'. With this intent she was up betimes, an* tae the stable she went, when she was sorely dum* fodn'ered tae find their am mere a richt, only very het, as if she had just cam' aff a journey, when she had been riddett-Jtke mad. The mystery was noo inexplicable, an' neither pairty cud scarcely believe their an' een. There was the mere. The guidman said it wasna her he had last nicht. The guidwife asked him what he was drinkin'; said there was the mere, but hoo was she sac hetP The maiter remained a mystery till next, when the guidman made anither earand tae BaU clutha, an' wha shud he happen tae meet bit his "auld cronny" frae Warepa. " Man,' 1 says' he, " I'm gled I've met ye; hoo did ye get hame yon nicht ? " "O, fine," says he, " bit fat gar't ye flee awa' wi' ma shalt in sic a hurry." "Me flee awa' wi' yer shalt! Ye was awa' afore me an' took aff my shalt, an' I was obleeg'd tae tak' yours; bit hoo did. ye get her back ? " "O, I sent doon for her early in the mornin' sac that yer guidwife'michtna' ken, because I thocht she micht bo like tae gi'e ye yer kail through the reek." Thus the mystery was solved, an' the twa retired tae Wully Lloyd's an' had "a hair o' the cat that scartet them*," an' pairted the best o' frien's.—Clutha Leader.