SHE WANTED TWO.

Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2806, 11 February 1878, Page 2

SHE WANTED TWO.

There is no reason why the inrentor of a remedy to "cure the wont ease of catarrh iuside of firo minutes.", shouldn't feel it bis duty to places bottle of the same in every person's hand—"price twenty-fire cents; no care, tio 7pay. f*i Therefore, the long-legged.. chap who pulled a door-bell on John It. stree^ yesterday had none of thai timidity in his bearing which characterises rag-buyers, lightning-rod men, and solicitors' for the^ fire sufferers. He had a good thing^aha he knew it, and he wanted other folks to know: it v . „ , , „ , {When the door opened' and r a hardfeatured woman of about forty years of age confronted Him, lie pleasantly'ireßfctor business and asked: ■ t *'f[ ! "Madame, is your husband etfer^routj bled with the catarrh ?" . * " j " Can a man who 1 has been dead serea years be troubled with the catarrh, 1' she grimly;replied.■ „,> i • -y^"" 1 | " But the children are liable to be attacked at any hour this' season," he remarked. ; „ ~ t ; T n -\ i?? Whose children ?" 'd "'"rf > i "Yours, madam." -> >• >.i "<\u \ " I nerer had any, sir. iWhat,brought y!ou here, anyway ?. Why do you come asking these questions P" ! " Madam, I hare compounded a remedy tor the catarrh. It is a good thing. I'll warrant it to knock any case of catarrh high sky in less than 1 fire minutes." i " Well, sir, what is all this to me ?" | " Why/ iniidam-rwhy -—-" he; atam-; mered.

I "Do I look r as ,if> |I any catarrh remedies?" she demanded, as she Stepped out on the platform. ! " Madam, I would not for the world have you think ,that I thought you had., the catarrh, but I suppose the fair and lovely can b?, attacked as, welj as the strong and brave." ' j "And what hare I.gofc to do with all (hat rigmarole ? Who are you, sir, and what do, you want ?," - ;/ j[ j' - - ! "Madam," he whispered, baeting down one step, "I have compounded a remedy for the, catarrh." r •, „ >r -j -j | 'lWhose catarrh, sir?" ' " ' * ! " Madam, I am. selling nay catarrh—" I " Where is you catarrh—where is it P " she interrupted. ; , . <..-..-' -, ■ •«: -„iL | He got down on the second 1 step, and' softly began: \ ' „ „ .? | " Madam, I have a sure care for the catarrh, and I'm selling lots ofiit.'\.- ■•r.-rrujQ \ " Well, what do I care! Must you ring my door-bell to tell me that'you are selling !J lots of catarrh medicine P "

I He got down on the walk, clear of the steps, and be tried hard to look beautiful around the mouth as he explained: "'' " Madam, didn't I ask you if your husband was ever troubled with catarrh P "

" Yes, sir.; and didn't I replj that he was dead P Do you waul to see his grave, sir- I.''-, .v -; I ; ' ' „ •'} j:]T^ " No, madam, J do not... lam norrfi he's dead, but my catarrh remedy cant* help him any. Good-bye, madam;" ■■■."<•'.> "Here, sir, bold on ;a' iriintolc,"' she I called; " what was yuui- business,with. „ me ? "

1 '• Why, I have ""a"" remedy for the catarrh; ! ' ' •' ■ ■'..!<•■» r „•■.*.

"So you said before.'-i ,-•■ • ■• i ' ..) "I asked you if you didn't waut to ; purchase, and ,'f „; . i\.,,- .- - lT . " You are a falsifier, sir; you richer ' asked mo'to purchase." 11 Do—you-want—a—bottle ? " he 1 slowly nsked. " Yes, sir; give mo two of them— here's your money. JSext time you want to sell your catarrh remedy don't bepin to talk around about the discovery of America by Christopher Columbus.'! U era ' you have bothered me fifteen minutes and put all my work-behind, and it's good for you that 1 didn't bring the bioom to the door."

He retreated backwards through the gate, his left'eye squinted-up and his.' mouth open. He shut the gate, leaned over it, and looked long at the front door. By and bye he said : " Darn 'em ! You can never tell where to find 'eta" • • >■! -■»' >