The Shorter Catechism.

Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2636, 20 June 1877, Page 3

The Shorter Catechism.

(FROM THE S3?. CHBOSICIiK.)

A LIST OP QUERIES FOUNDED ON

the :new testament.

Question —What is the cbief end of man ? Answer—The chief end of man is to dabble in mining stocks and enjoy them forever.

Q. —Who bo they that do chieflj so dabble ?.

A.—They bo the insiders and the outsiders —the "sharps" and the "fla'.s," otherwise so called.

Q. —Through what instrumentalities is this business mostly effected ?

A.—Through rings, pools, fools, stock boards, mining manipulations, bogus reporla, eto.

Q.—What is ono who gambloth with raining shares called ? A.—A stock operator. Q. —What is one who gumbleth with a deck of cards culled P A.—A blackleg.

Q. —What do we denominate the fellow "who effecteth a sham sale, or " wash " at auction ?

A.—A "Peter Funk."

Q. —What, when this is done iv the Stook Board?

A.—A broker

Q. —What are they called who, in the ordinary affairs of life, by falsehood and hust representation defraud others of their money ?

A.—Liars, cheats and swindlers. H,Q. —What, when this is accomplished through the agency of stock operations?

A.—Speculators, dealers, directors, presidents, etc.

Q.—Be there many stock sharps in San Francisco ?

A.—Yea, rerily, many,

Q.—Who was Judas lacariot ? A.—The discipline who betrayed bis Lord md Master, ■ I ■ Q.—How many limes did. ho betrny bim ? "A.—Once. Q.—How much did he receive ,iot his treachery ? A.—Thirty pieces'of silver. Q. —Htfw often would the average stock sharp have betrayed him for this ? A.—Thirty times.

Q. —Can the genealogy of the stock sharp be traced hack to our first parents ?

A.: —No ; only so far back as Ananias uud Sapphira (see Acts of the Apostles, v. 1).

Q.—Wby would one of these be » valuable acquisition to a theatrical tnnnager ?

\&.—Because in the play of Ihe For,'?/ Thieves lie could take all the parts.

Q.—What is an effort to inflate the price of mining shares termed ? •Ai—Balling the market. Q.—What an effort to depress the mar* ket? ■•'■■..- .;■ -■■■ < , "' .

A.—^-Bearing the market,

■ Q.—Who was the first pereon to engage in a bear movement of which we have any record.

, A.—Elisha, the Prophet—3ent two of them after the ungodly children. Q.^_WLy did he this P

A;-— ißecauße they were engaged in a bulling operation.

Q. —Wherein doth this appear ? ; A.—They said, "Go up, bald-head."

Q. —Wherein doth the mining sharp mnrket resemble a hoi el elevator ?

A»—ln this, that so much as it g'"eth up it goeth down again. ; Q;—What ia meant by " making your calling and. election Buve ? " A. I—Securing1 —Securing a seat in the Stock Board.

Q.--What is the unpardonable sin ?

A.—Giving points to outsiders. Q,—rl7u^o wl'at dompslic animals may the Outsider or flat be opHy compared, and w'ly ? A. —Unto tire- sheep, because' be undergoeth a Spring and a Fall shfariug ; unto the goose, because co often as his feathers be grown he is again plucked ; to the cow, becauie she is milked regularly twice every day ; and unto the pack-mule, because when he is loaded up the packer proceedeth to-pinch him. .;

Q. —For what qualities be these creatures most noted?

. A.—For their patience and stupidity. Q._Whereunto do the Scriptures liken the outsider?

A.—Unto one who seeketh to gather grapes from thorns and figs from thistles. Q.-^What further do they declare concerning him?, A.—That he is a person deToid of understanding

Q.~lb tbere any more hope of a fool than of him? ■A.—No. • .-: ' :' • V:. "■

Q,.—Why not? ' • A.—Because, there is just exactly the same amount.

Q. —What Ira-miracle? A.—-It is an event contrary to the established order of things. If the insider were to allow the outsider a fair deal, this might be accounted a miracle.

Q.—Have we a mining claim .called'" The Golden, Fleece ?-". A.—We have a mining claim so called. Q,__l ß this «n appropriate title for the same? \ A.—lt is.

Q—Wherefore ? A. —Because very badly were they fleeced who ever had anything to do with it. Q,—-Have we a mine called the Burro Burro?

A.—Of a truth we have,

Q. —Whence ie this naaie derived ? A.—From the Spanish. Q—What doth the terqj Burro-burro signify in that tongue ?.. A.—A confounded jackass. Q:—Have the company who were running for the "Silver Lyre "yet struck the same ? A.-—They have struck it, and, seeing it was' well deserved, it may be hoped tho blow was a bard one.

Is not the name " Silver Lyre " a fit one to be retained in our mining vocabu* lary? V;__lfc goudeth bo to the ear, but is not Jelled quite right. Q,—-How many commandments be there ? A.—Two.

Q.—Which is the first commandment ? A. —Look out for No. 1. Q.—Which is the secoud commandment ? A.—Devil take the hindmost. '