More Happy Thoughts in New Zealand.

Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2605, 15 May 1877, Page 3

More Happy Thoughts in New Zealand.

My love, or rather my desire of fame in the way of athletics has somehow decreased. Perhaps it was that cricket match, apropos of which we bad a ball, and I went. Now I do flatter myself I can dance, and think I look well. So when I received an invitation to go and " make one," I, though not knowing many likely to be there, said "yes" on the instant. I asked, as lam rather bashful in these matters, " Who'll be there," I I was told : "Oh! Everybody. 1'

Happy Thought—Go and hear what everybody says. I don't mean I want to listen, or be a uort of tout for the Evening Star, but I should like to hear what everybody does say. I go. The place Igotois an academy, not a sort of school, bat a sort of theatre ; and the word strikes me as being rather out of place. I wonder where the Academicians are.

Happy thought—Who gave it this ,'fcfliame? "I wonder whether this isn't rather profane, for I remember some similar question occurring in the catechism, and the answer was " M " or "N," and I never could make out who " M " or "N " was or were. However, it is an Academy, and everybody is there, and I am one of everybody. They dance and I look oh. The dance is called a quadrille, but some of the motions seem, to me at least, to bo peculiar. I don't think I know this kind of quadrille. Happy thought—Sit down and watch. I do, but why will people leave their hats on chairs. I thought that all hats were left outside and a ticket stuck on them, or else that men carried them under "-'..their arms something* like the Girards. I've left my hat outside, butUnhappy thought—l don't exactly re- . member where I left it.

Happy thought—Never mind. Sure to turn up. Gcnd word that word sure. I am sitting still, but not on the hat, and looking. Ladies—bright eyed ones, of course—are floating round with not much of the float about them, on the contrary, they stamp rather violently. A quotation occurs to me which runs somewhat in this fashion-— I'OV i ."'.ctt:' ..-. C.\2v:ei..'.i:i-j:?r." It is a ball, but I am conscious that the author meant a different kind of ball. What ball? Happy thought—A. cricket ball. But that ball moved round me, and the Academy, so named by " M " or " JN," is oblong and not round. By the way, are not my quotation and the allusion to " M " or " N " again profane ? I fear so. Happy thought—Don't quote. I won't. I'll dance, but I confess Tm father" nervous, but at this point a friend r pf mine comes up and asks me to " come and do a beer." I don't like beer, and say so. He says, " Oh! have something ;else." . . 1

Happy thought—Go. I go, and have something else, in - -fact, to speak the truth and scorn inuendoes, I have two or three sometbings-else, or something-elses, or somethings-elses, whatever the plural of that word Kay be, and: as I return to. the ball-room I feel' less bashful,, and more inclined to dance than I did before. I am askedrtq dance, and reply boldly, yes. I fancy the boldness is the result of the somethings elseses. lam introduced to a partner, who my friend tells me is " a good-un." I begin by saying "May I have," but before I get any farther she says yes, and we get up. It is a quadrille, and we stand up. The music strikes up and I turn round to say something to my " good-un " of a partner, when she bows to me and bows somebody else, her corner, partner, sdmebody else's corner bows to me, I don't know why, but she does. I don't know exactly what to do, as everybody is bowing except me. Happy thbughi—Bow to the lady opposite. .''. . .

I do, and she looks surprised. I wonder why. We start. In one of the figures where I hare to remain stationery while my partner returns to me, she appears to be seized with a sudden giddiness in the head, as she keep on turning round and round, and yet bears straight down on me. If she is fainting I shall have to catch her. Happy thought—Step back. I do so, and tread violently on an old lady, who is sitting: just behind me, and who ejaculates. I turn round to apologise, and she rise?, as..l turn round and our heads come into contact, I iancy her head is a harder one than mine. : Happy thought—(Suggested by reminiscences of the Latin Grammar) ~ "when two substances of different substance come together the latter is put into the objective case. 1' ■:; ■ iam not sure about the quotation, but; if I am the latter I am sure about the objection. Thtf dance is ended and I sit down. I r again[have a something else, and feel more inclined to dauce than ever. When; back in the Academy, I am again introduced to^ a lady, and, reckless of the consequences ask her to dance. She responds in the affirmative, and on looking round I find that I have been rather thoughtless as the dance is one I never danced before. It is called a Highland Schottische, and I am ignorant as to how to dance it. Happy thought—Notice how it is done: and go at it. "' [. . I,do;:and the great point seems to be to jump oh one leg and kick with the other. We go at it and I fancy I don't kick right, or else nvjr partner doesn't, as I keep on iicking her, t\. .. : Happy Thought—Kick with the leg I am hopping on, and hop with the kicking: leg. '"■'.. i This doesn't suit either, and after a few ■ attempts we give it up. My partner says she must go and get a pin, and leave 3 the room. I notice that she limps. I sit still and watch and observe how people dance, andVhen the next dance, which is a waltz, is struck up", I remain sitting and watching. The couples who pass me as I sit with my feet well tucked beneath xny chair, vary in their methods of dancing. One couple come round holding lovingly on to each other, the gentleman pulling the the lady's hand as far round as possible, as if he.were asking her to hold his coat tail buttons. Another has his partner's hand at arm's length, and as he bounds* (I can't call it dancing) round and round works it up and down like a pump handle, and leads one to imagine that he is practising to become expert in the hope of a situation at the big pump. One gentleman seems afraid of his partner, and holds her at arms's length; another couple are engaged

in holding each oilier light, the lady having as good a grip as the gentleman. It may be affectionate; it certainly is singular. One gentleman goes down the room at such a pac-* atvi vn'th such tremendous strides ilia 1 lie reminds me of Mr Doloraine, who I romcu.bor on the authority of Sir Waller ;-cott, was accustomed—

With wi!y turns and desperate boimcis To IwffleV.ie Percy' 3 bsstbloodhouucs. I am glnd I am not daneinu.ai'.d sit si.il! and muse. I wonder why all people don't dance alike? I wonder why some people are let loose in a ball room ? I wonder how one could help it? Examinations are the rule now, and couldn't every gentleman and lady be examined by a competent person ? I don't'mean the Warden or the Mayor, but some one appointed for that special purpose—a sort of town clerk —to see that they could dance properly before entering. Happy thought — Surest this, and offer the appointment to the Town Clerk, who has multifarious occupations.

I am not qaifc sure though how this would work, as some people who can't clnnce well are very nice to talk to, and it would be a pity to exclude them. Perhaps the difficulty could be got over by confining them—l mean confining them to square dances. But then how would any one know which were which?

Happy thought—Label them. It would be very easy to give any one who had passed satisfactorily a ticket labelled "for all dances," and another " square only," or " round only," and these could be worn on a conspicuous part of the dress. But perhaps the ladies wouldn't like this, and it seems hardly polite to label a lady " Square only," a« if she were a bottle of gin, besides gin may be taken to mean a trap, and that would be wo/se for, then it would imply that the ladies were man-traps, and were on the look-out for husbands. I 'don't care about the gentlemen's feelings, but Ido about the ladies. No, ihat plan won't do.

Happy Thought-Catalogue everybody. Ladies could have catalogues describing the gentlemen, and vice versa. But then who, would know which was which. You could not go to a lady and say are you No; r9, and the same objection to wear tickets oh the dress, would apply as in the former case. I don't see my way out of it at present. . Another happy thought—for the present —have another something else, and give it up. . ■ ;.' ;t .