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Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2587, 23 April 1877, Page 2

Commebcial Deciine.—"Mind your starboard helm," said a market applewoman yesterday, as an old salt reeled up against her stand. " (Hie) starboard it is, and steady, old gal," replied the old tar ; " but where the deuce (hie) did you learn to steer ?" " Ten years a stewardess. in the Liverpool trade, my hearty," re-" plied the old woman, " and down to every wrinkle; but heave ahead, my lad, and save a tide, and let the gentleman in to buy some apples." " Aye, aye, my "lass," said* the old mariner; and, as-he staggered away, he muttered, "(Hie) ten jears a stewardess, and (hie) come to this ; our com (hie) merce ia all gone to the devil."—American paper. Hibbbnian Sinecubi§m;—One morning a gentleman met one of the Irish- constabulary coming from the wild and mysterious valleys beyond Killarhey, The constable wore a smile, of complacency. ''Sir," he said, " they've been hiding a chap yonder who gave himself out as the Ballyporeen murderer; and for the last six weeks he has had his free keep and shelter, and. everything snug aud ljandsorpe. Well, I've had my own suspicions aboyt the fellow, and I went up this morning; and, sure enough, just as I thought, he turns out.to be neither more nor less than an imposther J"