More Happy Thoughts in New Zealand.

Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2586, 21 April 1877, Page 2

More Happy Thoughts in New Zealand.

It seems odd to skate where there is no ice, it feels odder when you try it for the first time. I tried it for the first yesterdayj and fancy that of all the men present at S. George's Hall I was the oddest. I am not an athlete', at least I hare never been one yet, but it is never too lato to mend, and I may be one when I grow older. It is said that ladies like athletes, so a happy thought.occurred to me to be one. The result as far as rinking is concerned may be pleasure, but the means as far as lam concerned is certainly pain. I spoke about it first of all to a friend who was an athlete, and he said it was awfully easy. "Just you come with trie old fellow," said he, "and you'll learn rinking; like winking." I liked the word "easy," it inspired me with confidence, and so I went, When I say I went Jdo not mean to say I "went for" my. athletic friend, but-1 went to S. George's Hall. I paid a shilling; ho didn't. I don't know why. I saw pairs of skates; at least they were called skates,but had wheels to them, and was told by the spirited proprietor (I suppose he is a spirited proprietor) that J should, soon get on it was so;,' easy." This word easy confirmed my athletic friend's assertion, and I had no doubt it was easy. It looks so. Those who are doing this easy process are, I can't say flying, but going fast round the room, or hall, or rjnk, or—

Happy thought—Place (it means so much.)

Like winking—lt looks easy and certainly pleasant. Happy thought—Make the easy porces3 easier still, and watch how others do s it. There is nothing like experience for covering a multitude of sins, or something of that sort.

I do. I notice that all those who do it (by it I mean what I am going to do) so easily, take off their coats, that is easy; then they hare to fold^their arms and lift their heads slightly and iurn-their > Bo'Bes-;upV:-"lnfact;:¥dm"e; v6TP^ilStm look as if they were sneering\ at the floor, or at their skates.; One-man falls and does'nt seem to mind it. I hope y jf J[ fall I shan't mind it. My friend come* round—the room is square, but he does come round and that at a great pace-— : and says " Now then old fellow come on, it's awfully easy." I explain that I haiie ■ no skates. He gets over this difficulty, for it is a difficultyj by saying "Oh go to , old Mac and he'll fix you," and then he is off .again. Ido want to skate, for it is easy, but I don't know who " Old Mac " is. I can't go to a man and say •• Are you old Mac," for he might not be " Old Mac," and object to the appellation. I , I don't know how I should like to be ' called "Old Mac." "

Happy thought—He niust...be Ma^ something, and all Macs are Scbtch.' ▼

Happier thought—Watch for a .man carrying skates and listen if he speaks Scotch, andthen say are you " Old Mac?" I'll do it.

I don't doit, for at' thw moment I am offered a pair of'skates by a gentleman wbo doesn't speak Scotch, but offers to help me put them on. ~ - Happy thought—Say thank yoa, and let him, as though it is so easy I am not above assistance.

I have the skates on, and my athletic, friend, coming round (or square) at a great pace, says, " Now you're all right, come on." Ido come on, but not quite as well as I expected. I get up, but somehow my skates go too fast, and I sit down again forcibly, or, as my friend expresses it, with a bang. He says.ho will dhow me_, and does so. His method is not nice,; he lifts me up (he is athletic), and gives mci a push. The skates go, >but I don't quite keep up with them, and we fall down, the skates being higher in the air than I. I am conscious of not looking like the man who fell and. smiled. Per-, haps there wa3 more of the übang" about my fall than his. I try to 'get up, but even that is hard, for the skates go away more quickly than I can, at least one does, and here I am with one knee on the floor following up the skate I have on the ground. Happy thought—Ask -for a slower pair of skates, just to begin with. ' •■ Happier thought—Lie where I am. My friend again comes and again lifts me, .merely remarking that I've come 'a cropper. . I smile. I con* > fess the smile is a feeble one, not like that of the man who fell before.. He helps me up, and oh, horror of horrors, at this moment enter ladies", to one of whom—Miss Dash—the best looking one, I had previously expressed my admiration of manly exercises, and led her to believe, Without telling an exact untruth, that I was rather a pro* "ficient in them. They come in and sit down. I wish I could. I think they see I am not a proficient in manly exercises, that is, if skating is one,. for they smile. "I am assisted by mffriend, and pushed off in the same way as a boat . is, and my friend is away before I can catch hold of him. He has pushed me hard this time, and I can't stop, and I am going the wrong way, I mean the men who do it easily are coming one way and I am going the other, and I can't stop. One man avoids me easily, which is lucky. I can't stop, and I .am bending forward with my" head about two feet from the ground, arid I fancy the motion of my arms, which in spite of all I can do, are working like mill sails, assists my progress. -I can't look round for I know that if I do I shall sit down again with a bang, and to say nothing of the physical annoyance, I don't want to sit down with a bang before Miss Dash. What shall I do? The question ia soon decided for me, fop one gentleman, who is skating backwards, comes violently in contact with me; I fall on my face, and he falls on me with :his back on mine. I can't get up, and he in trying to treads oh me with his skates %\ it hurts, but worse than this, just when he is half up—:l mean'when one skate is off me—another man comes and knocks him down again, and both fall down on me and work away at me with four skates, evidently using me as a means of erection. . At last they get up, and I get up, they assisting me, and ask if I am hurt. I again smile, and this smile is more -feeble than any previousone, and say no. (Is this an untruth, for I am hurt?) I don't know what to dq. lam left styn.4* ing, and I don't like to more; it might be unpleasant. •• : ' :•• ' • . -[". Happy thought—There is a pillar near, seize it. -

I do so, and as I stand I see Miss Dash smiling at me. lam a very short distance from her and she asks me to " come j here." I would if I could, but I can't, only I don't like to say so, and evon if I could I don't like to take off my Bkates standing holding a pillar. I wish I could see old Mac, perhaps I could explain tohim that one skate wa« wrong and oK him to take it off so as to examine it, and then with one foot at; liberty J. could push myself across to Miss' Dash and explain that the skate wouldn't do 10 me thing 1 that it ought to do, and so I fell, and if she says oh, get another pair X caq say that the pleasure of talking to her- ia greater, &c, &c. I can't see old Mac and. Miss Dash beckons to me again. I must go somehow. ' How ? Happy thought—Fold my arms. Sneer at the floor. Lift one foot, and go at it - like the easy men do. " - "•' Now for it; pillar released; 'arms folded ; sneer on ; one foot lifted, $nd I'm off; I can't stop; I-can't turn; I try to; ■ J. get bapkj .£ . clutch wildly and the next moment I find that I hare sat down with a bang ia Miss Dash's lap with both my skate* on her feet-, and one hand holding on by her - hair. There is a scene. Miss Dash leaves t^e rinlf followed by her pitying' , friends without speaking a word tq me, and what is worse I hear that she thinks; that the sneer I intended for the floorwas' meant for her ! t -. . Happy thought—Take my skates.off.

A tnan at the East-end calls himself oa his card a if tcinpei?ancp" lbootmajser.'' The need of temperance boots is apparent,' for, though they're not generally drunki it is a notorious fact that they're often very tight. Child of the Son.—-A grandchild.