Page 3 Advertisements Column 2

Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2580, 14 April 1877, Page 3

A bather amusing occurrence, is mentioned by the Post. A man who for the purposes of the story may be termed Jones, and who carries on. business as a storekeeper in a certain flourishing township in the Middle Island, found that it would conduce to the happiness of both parties if he and his wife separated. They did so, the lady coming to Wellington, and an agreement being entered into that she should receive a certain sum per week from her husband for her mainten- j ance. At the beginning of-the present! week the wife conceived a brilliant idea, j She would fathom the depth of Jones's [ affection for her. She went to the Telegraph Office, and sent the following message to Jones:-—" 'Uegret to inform you your wife died of broken heart last night. What shall Ido ?" She added to the telegram the name of one of Jones's friends as the sender. No sooner did Jones get the telegram than he put up his shutters and announced tbat owing to domestic affliction the store would be closed for three days. Then he telegraphed to the supposed sender requesting that the funeral should be delayed until he arrived, and that he would reach Wellington two days afterward*. He did so. Be went to the house of his friend, with whose family Mr Jones had lodged, and mournfully shaking hands with him, said, "So she's gone!" The friend wished to know who " she" was, and while' explanations were being made on both sides Mrs Jones herself entered the room. This was enough for Jones. He saw that he had been hoaxed by the woman who had sworn to obey him, and he turned away in disgust, marched to the wharf, caught a steamer on the point of sailing, and left for home. But before doing so he sent the following laconic I telegram to his Btoreman :—" Take down them shutters." HOLLOWAY'S PILLS.—Safe, yet Effective.—No other Medicine comb-ties thesf.mepuufyin^alijraiive, and tonic properties, which hare raised these 7 Pills so highly in the estimation of the public. In c'iseases arising from unhealthy situations, close apartments, and sedentary occupations, no means so potent for cooling, oleans'ng, and'regulating the humai body can be found. Holloway's Pills. wonderfully improve a, weak digestion by augmenting the gastric secretions and moderately rousing the functions of the liver, henne their well-known power of removing ta'.nted breaih, arid remedying every other dyspeptic unpleasantness. They entirely overcome the lethargic symptoms attendiu? bad digestion, arid have for years been esteemed the best and the safest family aperient. They are particularly suitable for young females and children. ,• ■■-'-.-■ (For remainder ot News see Fourth Page.). Ecclesiastical CONGREGATIONAL SUNDAY " SCHOOL. A NNIVERSARY SERMONS will bo /lL Prencbed on SUNDAY next, April 15, morning and eveninp, by the Rer Mb RjObbsrtSOtf, M.A., late of Melbourne, successor \o Key. Warlow Daviesi at Atfckland. In the afternoon an will be given to pavenls and childctn by the Rer. R. S. "Bttnn, and a suitable pslection of Hymns will beeung .by the scholar*. . . •■ Special col'ecfions will be made at all the services in aid of school funds. 542 Wanted < ijA^lT'EI) KNOWN that Mbs Hbidt -» ? continues to carry on Business as usual &t her Establishment, Pollen 1 street. Millinery, Straw work, Dress and Mantle Making in* the most Fashionable Styles,, (all done on th« Premises).- Feathers Gleaned,' Dyed, and Curled. —Mfts Heldt, .Pollen street, Shortla.id. * ' -, '" 390 WANTED TO SELL. I.AAA STRONG GALVANISED IRON iUUU FIREPLACES, 30s each, Cash. Extra Piping, Is 6d per foot. , George MoCattii, \\y ANTED Known, "to meet the times," II lam laying on i inch WATER PIPE at 3d per foot; Beet High-presaura Cocks, 4s 6d ; Connections, Is. Geokojb McCaul. Til AMES VISITORS TO AUCK. ' ,% LAND CAN- be accommodated with OonafoJ'taWe PRIVATE^ BOARD pad RFSIDINOE upon moderate teiois at — Mbs John Cashbli's, Upper Hobson shve^ Auckland. Opposite Auckland Western Academy. TjIOR SALE, on Terms by Monthly PayJJ ments; COTTAGE'S on FRBEHOTD JpDLOTMENTS. ' A. HJPMI, Agent, Albert street, #