What Everybody Says.

Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2574, 7 April 1877, Page 3

What Everybody Says.

" In multitude of counsellors there is safety." - —Old Proverb

As in most things there is some good and some evil, a" fact which everybody knows, so, though—as said a shareholder and broker speaking together regardless of manners—the-.Moanatam has done good, still it has somewhat to answer . for. One thing is this, that some people ■ cannot get the shares out of their miuds, but will talk of them in season and out of season until they literally seem to have run between them and their wits. Nay, so far has the passion run that some men in speaking of ordinary matters, clothe their words in mining phrase, showing full plainly that their thoughts, like those of Byron's barbarian gladiator, " are with their heart, and that is far away." To give an instance—Every body knows that the Thames has lately been visited by a band of Auckland cricketers, and as everybody knows the Thames is ever hospitably inclined. It-was determined as the highest honor that could be paid to the visitor* to ask Thames ladies to bs kind enough to excuse a short invitation and grace with their presence the Academy pf Music on .dancing thoughts intenil Ever imbued with a kindly desire to please, some of these ladies appeared, .and great was the rejoicing thereat. Some were prevented, but yeJ- were desirous to. know how the affaujfiiad i turned out. One' of them . askecla gentleman to ; describe it to her and tell her bow everybody looked, &c. I&agine the; fair oneV, horror when the barbarian (he had not the;'excuse of being a gladiator) began by saying, " Oh, there was a good- deal of business done, especially in some "jstock I.";-' Back Hair ■ w.as-ingi'eat d^mandat the opening, but ■'■■dedine!dHQ'w,^4s;.^?- re^.:'bf.the;;eTemng —^few partners.V Parawais were in strong demand at i the last quotation for sellers ; holders ; not- inclined to- part; , Market ; sosed?-;«firm with upward tendency. i.lrishj none in the market ,at opening, in great demand during ; the, evening, large parcels required ;by .Auckland buyers who were not content -with what they got. Steady rise and closed^With all shares withdrawn. Bright Smiles plentiful; but not transferable though much Jsought after, ■Wallflowers —heavy on hand-f-a few could be had cheap. No: buyers. Such are the words which thY "acctirsecl thirst for gold" :can put into the mouth, of a rational being when . }i.e. ought to; be endeavoring, too bftehiob vainly, : ••: ■;-:. : r

To-paintthose charms which, varied? as~ they beamed. Surely Moanatairis have much to answer for. ■"•:..■<./■■'■ ■ ■ .'

Everybody acknowledges that the Thames Hospital is a necessary^ instit|l-i tion, and few ought to grudge their money for its support;, even though everybody would wish to see very few patients within it. So many read the medical. officer'sreport, and rejoice if there are few accidents,, and especially rejoice if these are; not serious ones. .To ithem, therefore, the; concluding words of.the House Surgeon's report—"Among the accidents admitted pnly one was of, a very serious character, and as yet &c is progressing favorably," •were satisfactory, though it might be asked are all: accidents of the male gender.. , '

Everybody who has been in- the colony knows what "shouting" means when applied to hotel bars. The derivation of the word is uncertain. There are those who say that a gentleman after a day's " outing " in which the good things of this life, including drinkables, had been liberally supplied, returned home rather festively'inchned, and testified his appreciation thereof by answering a question as to how he had enjoyed himself by saying, in the intervals of his hiccups, " I—l •—l've er—had er—er —er good day's «h—sh—sh—outiag." That those who •hout may do the same well is not surprising, it may be practice makes perfect, for one gentleman at the Corner last night announced to his friends that he wished to shout. Having asked his friends to give it a name, the first said he'd take a cigar. "Oh! hang it," said the shouter io the shoutee, "I'm not going to give the landlord sixpence; take one of these (producing cigars). Now. (to ,No. 2), what will you takeP'* "A cigar," was the answer, and his wants were supplied in the same manner atid for the same given reason. Not caring to ask Nos. .3 and 4, the ihouter~exclaunedr"Ob, I'll treat you all alike," and having supplied cigars he exclaimed, " Now then, I'll shout properly." Shout he did, and the landlord thought him a much nicer young man than he did five minutes before. If anybody wants a double shout, the address may be learned by sending a stamped envelope and ten shillings to Man^——, but no, his name shall not be given.

Everybody does not know' what to do with their scrip at the present time. They are ;Jike the man who had a wife addicted'to alcohol, and who (the man, not the wife) saw her one day in the street in rather a'helpless plight,amidst a crowd of bystanders and didn't- know what to do with" her. .One said if she was his wife he'd choke her, another said if she was his wife he'd burn her, and a third said if she was his wife he'd hang her. Said the husband: "Gentlemen, if she was any one else's wife I could'tell hint what he ought-to do; as she is xniss I can do but one thing, that h nothing. 1' Moral fit is so easy to give advice when you are not personally interested. Hear ye tins, ye who advise others to buy or sell scrip.

A Southern paper records the fact of a man walking out of a shop with " the consciousness of having enjoyed a pie and coffee, sat out half-a-crown's worth of gas, and destroyed 10s worth of property, all for sixpence." This individual was lucky to get off so cheaply. Not so one of his kind down here.' • Some years ago an individual went into a paitry-cook's on the Thames and ordered "a mutton pie." He was served, and asked for some Worcester sauce. A bottle was set before him, and, he ate his - pie using the excellent. condiment witlr rdish, but with no regard to the price. He managed }n fact to ttße ie. entire bottle and put down halfVerown to pay for his pie. Th« shopkeeper, who had been watching his customer, relumed a shilling as change, and when the customer theimpudenpe to demand 2s 3d, he was quietly informed that although mutton pies were retailed at threepence, Worcester sauce cost one and threepence a bottle, and the mean man had to be content).

To-day the day was: wet, as everybody Jraows f it wa» also the day fixed for the

match between the Fire Brigades, which everyone ought to know. Some bets were made, and somebody remarked in the morning that he would lay odds that he knew the side who would get. " 6rsfc water." He was asked how he, uot being a prophet like Snyder or Cummings, " could know." He said he was sure the first men out of the shed' would get first water. And as he spoke he looked out of the door^ and somebody remarked he had a drop in his eye. . :

Snyder, late of Coromandel, is airing his slipshod English in the.columns of the Poverty Bay. Standard, Amongst his other assumptions he has presumed to set himself up as a' prophet, and prophecies that within twelve imbnths I more people will have been ruined by trading in Moauatairi shares than will have made -anything out of them, giving as his " reason thafe" people who have-made money by Amining speculations have come to untimely ends. Strange grourids on which to arrive at conclusions. He also says regarding Emmet, thewelUknown '•Fritz" —"MrEra--met the singing Minstrel has entered an action against the owners of the Jane Douglas steamer for causing -him to miss the mail steamer for 'Frisco. He lays his damages at £20C0 for the month's detention. Allowing that Mr Emmet would sing ten j songs a night for twenty-four nights in his month, £2000 is not a bad figure to. reckon them up at. It's equal to. the united salaries of the Archbishops of London and Canterbury, with a pluralist or two and a dozen curates thrown in. : But; then Archbishops can't sing ."■ Schneider how you vas," which makes all the difference. With * regard to the £2000 which Mr Emmet sues for I really—-I really, do — wish he may get it." It may strike somebody that the epithet " singing" is unnecessary, as to be a ministrel it is rather, important that the accomplishment of singing should be acquired; also, that as the salaries of. the Archbishop of Can-; j terbury and the Bishop of London would j amount together to £25,C00, N that of two pluralists to about £3,500 more, and of a dozen curates at, say £120 each, to nearly £1500. Snyder's arithmetic is rather faulty when he makes £40,000 a year divided by twelve equal less than £200$ a month.' Can anybody say when there; was an JircA-bishop of London. \